Back Home

Yep. We're still around. In fact, we've been home for a week today.

If I ever have the time to just sit for a little I'll regale you with some details. Just know that it was relaxing and refreshing.

Nothing like a good vacation to get your mind back in gear again.

Anyway.

Since arriving home we've been busy.

1. Put away all vacation items.
2. Do laundry.
3. Hit the grocery.
4. Catch up on bookwork. Though that's Jason's department now. Apparently he got weary of me getting months behind. :)
5. Check e-mail. All 400+ of them. Though mostly spam.
6. Clean the house.
7. Work upstairs. Cleaning up all rooms in preparation for the office to be moved into the now unused bathroom.
8. Clean and organize all attics. Four of them in this little house. If it weren't for the attics we would literally have no storage space. Small closets in two bedrooms and one slightly larger closet downstairs.

Today's list...
1. Clean up fourth and final attic.
2. Clean up and move items out of office...in preparation to knock out the office walls. :) Can't wait til that happens. While it'll be a pain to have the office upstairs, it'll be awesome to have a large enough room to stretch out our table a little.


In other news. I'm feeling better. Most days. I thought this morning sickness stuff was gone by about 12 weeks?! Not so true here. It's not every day....about every other. It's not terrible, just not fun. It's not hindering my work, just making me a little grumpy at times.

But I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end. Even if this lasts for the entire nine months. I'm 17 1/2 weeks at this moment.

Little George/Sallly is growing. Aparently, anyway. If he/she isn't growing, then I must be eating a little too much. :)

We're thankful. And still a little in shock, I think.

South-ward bound

I'm nearly as excited as our children. Except I have to do all the packing and they just get to bounce around screeching and clapping.

Tomorrow we head out for the sunny south. Except right now it's kinda chilly. High of 57* today, we hear. Supposedly it's gonna warm up starting Monday.

Our week is going to be jam-packed full. We're staying in Orlando and of course, we are hoping for nice weather so we can fulfill all our plans. :)

Epcot, Sea World, Daytona (men and boys only), Kennedy Space Center (men and boys only), mega dairy.

It's not just us going...my parents, my oldest brother and his family, my youngest brother and his wife and unborn twins :)...my middle brother and his family just got home from Florida a couple weeks ago and decided that two weeks there was enough.

So why am I so excited?! I love vacations. A whole 10 days to sit. And swim. And sun. And be toursity.

I've heard in the last couple weeks..."What do you mean? You had a five week long vacation in Russia just a year ago...and a week long trip to Russia a little over a year ago."

I think that anyone who has ever travelled the adoption path would whole-heartedly agree with me that those trips aren't much of a vactation. Sure, we get to hop on the train to head to the grocery. We miss our train and have to hail a taxi....and the driver can't understand us any better than we can understand him. We got to spend a week in the grand city of Moscow. (Which I admit was a vacation....we walked to all the tourist sites that we possibly could in that short week.)

But. The four weeks in Vlad? You tell me. Postponed first court date after sitting in court for 2 hours? Flooded house? Wondering if our newest son would actually get to make the journey home with us? Playing game after game of pool in an effort to forget reality?

That wasn't much of a vacation. Though everything did work out just grand.

But this? There isn't a dreaded court trip. There isn't packing suitcases that must be under 44 pounds....I can pack whatever I want. There aren't piles left all over the house of items that were in the suitcases and at the last minute got chucked out due to overweight issues.

This time? We're going to relax. We're going to enjoy simply being with family.

And we're going to trust that God will grant us safe travels...and that I remember to keep Jack strapped into his life jacket day in and day out. Poor kid. Too bad he has such an infatuation with water....and there is a pool right outside our back door.

So When Can I Spaz?

These two boys of mine are gonna do me in.

It's kind of stressful to look out the window to see your five year old shimmying up the tv tower....and trying to convince his two year old brother to follow in his footsteps.

Do I screech out the window telling him to be careful, thus risking a fall due to extreme startled-ness? Or do I just glance out every few seconds to make sure that he's still up...or safely on the ground.

I typically opt for the glancing. I'd hate to be the cause of a fall.

Turns out he doesn't need me screeching in order to fall.

Last night he experienced his first nearly 8 foot fall. Oops.

"Well, Mom, I was just trying to get on top of the trailer, but I had my chainsaw in one hand so I couldn't get on top very well so I let go with the other hand to try to grab the top and then I didn't have any hand on the trailer and then I fell. And I SCREAMED. It was scary."

And the story continued with no breath inserted whatsoever.

As the evening went on he embellished it a tad...."I was sure that that bone inside my neck was broken and maybe even my leg and probably my arm but when I stopped screaming I realized that I didn't have any broken bones and I was just scared but Daddy said I might get a bruce (bruise) right here.." At which point he pulls down his pants to show me the red spot on his hip..."but I might not too, Daddy didn't know for sure, but I was scared and probably I shouldn't try to take my chainsaw on top of the trailer again cause I could fall again and that was scary, but I didn't really hurt myself and I had some wood up there that needed to be cut but maybe I should put the wood on the ground to cut it instead. I think I learned a lesson, Mommy."

Time will tell, son, time will tell.

This morning he has no bruise, he isn't the least bit sore, and he was walking around on top of the trailer again.

Life on the farm with two boys can get a little spazzy.

Miracle of Miracles

Had you told me eight and a half years ago how our married life would play out, I wouldn't have believed you.
Had you told me that we would be deemed infertile a mere 1 1/2 years after our wedding I wouldn't have believed you.
Had you told me that five years after we married we would finally have our longed for children I wouldn't have believed you.
Had you told me that all three of our munchkins would come from the other side of the world I wouldn't have believed you.
Had you told me that eight years and four months after we married we would be reeling at the news of a pregnancy I wouldn't have believed you.

God has His ways of performing miracles.

We have received the blessing of adoption...a blessing that I am confident we would never have experienced had we been able to build our family in the manner that is considered 'normal'.

We have received three children whom I am confident we would have never known had we been permitted to grow our family in the manner that is considered 'normal'.

Our normal has been adoption for the past four years. Our normal has been to do boat-loads of paperwork in order to receive our child. Our normal has been to provide fingerprints multiple times. Our normal has been to bring home children who are walking and on the verge of talking...if not already talking. Our normal has been to spend enormous amounts of money and take long trips to a foreign country. Our normal has been to discuss biological families while trying to mold our children into our family. Our normal has been to expect our children to come home with an undisclosed disease or problem....though not one of them has. Our normal has been to meet families from around the world who are all experiencing the same 'normal' as we have.

Our normal is changing.

Bigtime.

Our new normal will include a newborn baby who won't have Hep B or Hep C or syphilis or HIV.

Our new normal has included a tad bit of 'morning sickness'...though it seemed to be at it's worst about 2:00AM. That's improved drastically, though some days are still a little...uncomfortable. Not one speck of throwing up, though, for which we are extremely greatful.

Our new normal has included a mommy who is exhausted and not too excited about the vast majority of foods.

Our new normal is including a growing tummy.

And weight gain.

And extremely excited children.

Of course, they were extremely excited a year ago when we brought home our 'baby'...but this is a little different.

And a daddy and mommy who are starting to allow themselves to be excited. It's not that we haven't been, but it's all a little unreal. To say the least. We had given up our dream of having miniature us's running around here. We had thrown ourselves into the world of adoption...and love it. We were beyond shocked when the home tests came back positive.

Yes. I said tests. Plural. :) I don't remember if I did four or five of them....but even then it was hard to believe. We had an ultrasound completed at seven weeks just to see if it was really real.

It was.

Heartbeats don't lie.

Lord willing, sometime the end of July/beginning of August we hope to welcome our first baby into our home. Addie's prayers have been answered.

And so have ours....even if we had actually stopped praying for this miracle years ago.

I used to laugh at couples who proclaimed a pregnancy a surprise. Seriously? How can a pregnancy be a surprise?! You are married, correct?! However, this has been a hulogous surprise. As in once our teeth were picked up off the floor and replaced into our mouths, we still had to push our jaws shut. It was a surprise.

Only God could orchestrate something like this. Only God would allow the term 'infertile' to be told to a couple, only to grin 7 1/2 years later when suddenly the 'infertility' is no longer an issue...with no medical treatment whatsoever.

While we're praising HIM for the miracle of a baby, we're still a little nervous. Yes, the most critical time is past according to the medical world. Yes, everything appears to be progressing just as it should.

But. The doubts linger. The unreality of the circumstances causes us to temper our excitment a little. Silly, perhaps. But the truth.

And so, we plug on. Will and I calling the baby George as I'm sure it's a boy, Jason and Addie calling the baby Sally as they're sure it's a girl. And Jack hanging out in total oblivion.

I have to admit now, that the 'Oops' post was the truth, though not perhaps the whole truth. While dealing with multiple weekend plans, helping Will regain trust and love for his mommy, etc., we were also dealing with a sick mommy....an exhausted mommy....an 'if-her-head-wasn't-attached-she'd-lose-it mommy.

Addie was quite concerned. She was making plans for the surgery that she was sure I had to have...why else would mommy be acting so funny. She was making a huge effort to help me fix meals and clean up the house. She was worried sick, nearly.

We just told her the real reason last week and you've never in your life seen a happier little girl. :) Her dream is coming true.

And so is mine. For the first time ever, I get to have the privelege of being a birth mom. For the first time ever I am experiencing what our children's birth mom's went through to give them life. For the first time ever.....

What a blessing. What a miracle.

Five Days Late

Where is my head?

Last Saturday marked the day that Jack Nickolay joined our family. One whole year.

I can't believe it.

Where has the past year gone?

I guess when you spend five weeks in Russia, come home to a different house, and have to 'move' back into your own several weeks later.... That took up two months of our year. And then it was the unpacking boxes, and the getting used to another munchkin around here, and the field work, and the......

I guess that is where the time went.

Thankfully, Jack is only two. This year I nearly forgot that his family day was approaching. Friday Mom took Addie to co-op for Grandparents day and I called her on her way to ask if she could pick up a gift for him.

Tons of thought went into that gift. Jason suggested a ball...so we spent a whole $.99 to purchase him a ball. I guess Mom actually paid for it....I still haven't paid her back. He was beyond thrilled, so I guess that's all that matters.

His cake consisted of an 8x8 cake in an aluminum pan that was pulled from the freezer. On Monday. Oops. Saturday we totally forgot about it so we didn't actually celebrate til Monday evening. As I said, good thing he's only two.

Due to the lack of planning he had an undecorated cake with one lonely yellow candle jabbed into the middle. He was still intrigued, but I don't think that's a picture that will make it into the next post placement report. :)

He didn't care a stitch that we totally forgot, but Addie and Will thought it was horrid. I think when their days roll around in June/July I'd better be a tad bit more prepared. After all, their family day is a second birthday. Who wouldn't want it to be remembered?!

Sweet little Jack has done a lot of changing. His once round face has lost some of its plumpness and he's starting to look like a big boy...which he calls himself frequently. "Bi Boy, Mom." Mainly used when he remembers to tell me that he needs to go potty and makes it before wetting himself.

Some days I wish he were still in diapers. Such as the last two times that we went to town and he wet himself to the point that it was dripping off the cart. Lovely. Nothing like children to bring you down a notch or two. Or ten.

He still doesn't talk. Not much anyway. I'm starting to think that it's not all bad as I don't know how I'll handle three children talking non-stop. If there could be one thing that would qualify as driving me nuts, it would most definitely be the constant chatter. I can handle the singing, I can handle the silly noises (most of the time), but the chatter? Do you really NEED to talk nonstop while doing the dishes? Really? To nobody? I don't understand. At all. I could easily go a whole day without saying one single word....and here we have two children who can't go three minutes without jabbering. Learning patience.

Anyway. He does talk some. He says potty, Will, Daddy, Mom, bye, hi, oh deah, yuck, I lo oo, doo night, gook (look), and a few more consistently. There's more that he'll repeat with some prodding...but really? He just doesn't want to talk. Aparently he believes it's overrated. Too bad his siblings don't share that view. At least a little.

Still growing. Currently in 2T clothes, but is starting to wear some 3T pants and shirts. I can't believe our baby is getting so big.

Snow is not his favorite thing in the world. He loves to go outside. He hates to get cold. If there is snow on the ground (a big IF these days) he'll last about 10 minutes. If there's mud and puddles (much more common this winter) he lasts about 20 minutes. He's ready for spring.

He can throw a fit with the best of them. Complete with rolling on the floor, screaming and hitting the floor. It's so cute. Or not.

He absolutely loves to tag along with Daddy and Will. So far the only thing that he won't do that Will has tried to convince him to do is climb up the TV tower. I think that's a good thing. Yesterday Will was up level with the garage roof trying to convince Jack to follow him up. Jack replied with a firm, "MO" (no), and Will was disturbed. At what point is a mom allowed to spaz out?!

That's our Jack. Lively, opinionated, cuddly, obnoxious little boy.

We're so thankful that God worked in the hearts of the judge and prosecutor on our behalf. We're so thankful that his mom, Larisa, chose to give him life. We're so thankful that God placed another adoption on our hearts even when we weren't sure it was the best plan.

Puppies

Please tell me you're interested in at least one of these adorable little puppies!!

They're cute. They're fluffy. And they won't be any taller than your two year old toddler when they're full grown. Well, not much, if any.

But for now? They're little and roly-poly.

Surely you would like one for your homestead.

Give us a call..or send us an e-mail..or leave a note in the comments...937-459-0618...jason.l.garber@gmail.com...

It's just that simple.

Contact us quickly!!! One female and four males left....

Oops

I can't believe I have neglected this thing for nearly an entire month. That's pathetic.

I offer no excuses...other than the fact that it's been busy around here.

I guess that could qualify as an excuse.

Today I am sitting at the desk, nibbling on M&M's, sewing, trying to clean up the clutter of cut-out yet still-unsown items floating around this little room. The M&M's are my go-juice. I enjoy sewing, but after seeing these few projects sitting here for six weeks, the enthusiasm has long since flown. Thus the M&M's. Plus, I can find most any excuse to polish off a bag of them.

I should be doing bookwork. Really. When I sat down at the computer to catch up on it about a month ago, I realized that I was nearly one year behind. Yep. You read that correctly. Not one week. Not one month. One year. It's been a long process. The checkbook balanced....well, good enough for me anyway. I think it was about $1.36 off, or something close anyway. Not enough to spend days trying to find the year old mistake.

The rest of the stuff is nearly caught up, but I have to admit that there is still a pile perched on the table that must be tended to sometime in the near future. Don't worry, we still have room to eat our daily meals without accidentally stuffing the March credit card statment into our mouths.

I have excuses for the paperwork not being tended to as well. Remember a year ago when we were packing for a four week trip to the grand land of Russia (we actually left one year ago on Friday)? And then remember how court didn't go as planned and we ended up staying in Russia for five weeks? And then remember how our house flooded and we couldn't even live in our house for two weeks after getting home and we then had to unpack boxes and whatnot for several weeks after that? That's my excuse. Til life finally calmed down enough for me to consider sitting at the computer entering receipts, it was already March. And then the weather turned nice and who wanted to sit at the desk? And then summer came and I was busy. And then fall arrived and when I actually had the time, it was too depressing to even consider. So here I am. Yes, it's still depressing and yes, I wish now that I had been a little more diligent, but it's a little late for that! Now I have no choice. After all, a new year is upon us.

On top of the bookwork and the sewing, there have been Christmas gatherings. While those are tons of fun, they also take time. We're gone from home for three whole weekends (Friday night to Sunday night) and it takes me much of Friday to get things in shape to leave. Plus we MUST have snacks...and being the great procrastinator that I am, those typically wait til Friday to be made. So that was three weekends.

And then, there's the real kicker. Remember when a while back I mentioned that we were having some struggles with Will? It all started when we brought Jack home with us. Seriously. While in Russia last winter, he did pretty good, but right before we were leaving, Will asked when we were taking Jack back to the orphanage. Problem. He seriously could not stand that little shaver who moved in and stole his spot on Mommy's lap. The result has been a gradual dislike of Mommy that we finally decided must be turned around. It's been increasingly more clear that the main problem is the fact that he doesn't believe that Mommy can love Jack and him all at the same time. Face it, a two year old does take a little more hands on time than a five year old does. Perhaps I could have allayed some of our problems had I purposed to sit and hold him on a regular basis. Or had I purposed to spend some extra one on one time with him rather than playing with all three of them together. That's neither here nor there. The fact is that about a month ago we realized that we had some serious work to do. Something had to change. Something is just not quite right when a five year old comes down the steps with obvious plans to have a grouchy day. Five year olds are supposed to be carefree and happy! Plus, something is not right when a child wants nothing to do with his mom. Nothing. We called the therapist. We prayed. And we came up with a plan.

For the past few weeks, Will has had very few breaks from his mommy. Very few. And as a result his mommy has had very few breaks from Will. :) It's been good...at least after we made it through the first few days of screaming and hollering (him, not me). I've had to work extra hard at not getting frustrated when he deliberately defies me and he's had to work extra hard at breaking his habits of deliberately defying me. It's been rough. It's been exhausting. I've had to change the way I interact with him. Rather than telling him to go sweep the kitchen, he now gets a choice. Would you like to sweep the kitchen or dust the living room? It's working much better. Perhaps I'm the last mom around to figure out that choices work better than bossing, but I'm thankful to finally figure it out. Then it's his choice. No matter what option he chooses, something is getting done. No matter what option he chooses, he made the final choice...and for a strong willed child, he needs to feel like he made the call. It's not my nature to operate that way. I'd rather give orders and go on my way, but if I cared to win back my child's heart something had to give...

But. We're finally getting somewhere. Starting sometime the end of last wek he started giving me impulsive hugs and saying...."I like to be with you, Mommy." He's started asking to sit on my lap again. He's started being happy a little more. He's started sleeping a little better at night...which in turn makes him a tad happier.

The only problem with all this is that we have two other children. Not that the two other children are a problem :), but the youngest one especially hasn't been too fond of his mommy giving his older brother so much attention. He really doesn't like it when Will is on my lap, but really doesn't like sitting on my lap himself...unless it's his idea. While he's been sleeping better at night (only waking and screaming a time or two each night) he's only taking about 45 minute naps (at the most) during the day. It's kind of like he simply doesn't want to miss out on a speck of mommy time that he can possibly snag. However, if you've ever had a two year old who doesn't take decent naps around your home, you know that it doesn't work out too well. By 6:00 every evening he's out of control hyper and really wants nothing to do with anything.

So that's been keeping me busy.

Sewing, eating M&M's, sitting much of the day and holding a child...or two..., doing bookwork, fixing breakfast, lunch, and supper, cleaning up the house, chasing a two year old, etc. That is my life. I have to admit that it was lovely to send Addie back to school this morning. While it's fun to have her home, having one more person around every day all day does add some extra dimensions.

While some days I think it seems like it would be really nice to hop in my car...er...van :)...and head off to an 8-5 job, in reality I know that I would dislike that immensely. Being a mom isn't always fun, being a homemaker isn't always fun....but it's what God has called me to do. And knowing that is what keeps me from playing hooky on mornings when I simply don't feel like I can face another day.