Just wondering. Are any of you in the same boat as we are? The boat that has a strong willed child at the helm who is pushing every single one of your buttons?
If you're in the boat with me, welcome. And let's hang on for the ride.
It's a wild one. The waves are frequent. The wind is ferocious.
But I hear tell that there is hope. I heard that right here.
If you scroll down a little bit you'll find a thing to click on. The title is Surviving the Strong-Willed Child. There are two parts.
If you are in the rockin'-strong-willed-child boat, I encourage you to listen. It encouraged me greatly.
Let me describe to you what our strong willed child looks like. We say to do one thing, the child looks at us, grins, and does the opposite. Of course, we discipline for the obstinancy, but the discipline seriously does no good. None. It's almost as if the discipline just urges the bad behavior to the front.
By the end of the day, I have a headache that would rival the size of Mt. Everest. Some days our SWC is super sweet. Some days the child appears to simply be searching for things to do that they know will get Mommy's feathers ruffled.
I try so hard to not get those feathers ruffled, but the human in me doesn't succeed very often.
I'll have to say. Perhaps the SWC is a blessing in my life. In fact, I know it is. That child is the child who has enhanced my prayer life more than anything else in my life ever has. That child is also the one who is capable of keeping me a very humble woman.
The above link is a talk given by a lady named Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. She was a strong willed child herself and the insight she has makes me think that she has been peeking in our windows.
The following is taken directly from her website, Apple St.
Keep a Positive Focus
Being strong-willed does not have to be a negative trait! I often remind parents of SWCs that their children may change the world—after all, it’s not likely that the world is going to change them! Your SWC may be God’s instrument for making the world a better place. It is a great gift to have a child with firm convictions, a high spirit, and a sense of adventure. Think about some of the great leaders and innovators in our past—Thomas Jefferson, Marie Curie , Albert Einstein, Joan of Arc, Thomas Edison, and others. Each of these people held up under adversity, stood for his or her convictions, and persisted against all odds. They refused to believe their dreams were impossible.
It Takes One to Know One!
I have talked to thousands of SWCs over the past several years, including hundreds of prodigal sons and daughters, and they have given me a wealth of information to share with you. Their answers are consistent, and their insights are valuable.
I have also lived my life seeing firsthand how the mind of the SWC works—from the inside out. I was never what you would call a rebellious or defiant child. I grew up the daughter of a conservative, evangelical preacher, and I never rebelled against my dad or caused him to feel ashamed of me. I was not a particularly loud or obnoxious child. I never talked back to a teacher. In fact, you couldn’t have traced half the trouble I caused back to me! Outwardly, I was quiet and compliant and basically easy to get along with.
But whenever I am backed into a corner and told "Do it…or else," I simply "else." I may not be confrontive or loud, but I know there is nothing I really have to do—except "die." Which I am willing to do. And since I am willing to "die" and you’re not , I win. (OK, I’m dead, but I win.) As you can imagine, this mindset has always presented a unique challenge to my parents and others in authority over me.
My mother tells me that as early as eighteen months I had already figured out no one could really make me do anything. She tried to insist I eat all the food that was placed before me. As soon as I figured out she was going to have me sit there until the food was gone, I simply dumped the contents of the bowl on top of my head. It became a contest each meal to see if Mom could figure out which bite was my last one before the bowl was dumped and she had a mess to clean up. It didn’t take long for her to decide the battle wasn’t worth it!
My sister came along five years after I did, and she was nothing like me. Since it took my parents that long to work up the courage to have another child, I think they were relieved to find Sandee so compliant and pleasant-natured. As the oldest, I used my position and strong-willed nature to both delight and traumatize my sister. I was definitely in charge, and Sandee followed my lead. Sometimes the bully, often the dictator, or even the encourager, I enjoyed having my sister recognize and appreciate my strengths.
Although my mother was convinced we would never be able to do anything but fight with each other, as adults Sandee and I are very close, and enjoy a wonderful relationship. People often ask her if she grew up resenting me because I was such an SWC. She sweetly smiles, and claims it was actually a blessing. "You see," she explains, "I loved it. Since Cindy was always the one with the dangerous or adventurous ideas, I was never the one to get in trouble. I would just say it wasn’t my idea, wasn’t my fault—and Mom knew I was telling the truth."
Even though I’m an SWC myself, I believe my best credentials for speaking out on behalf of all SWCs is that I am the parent of a strong-willed son. (My mother denies she prayed this would happen so I would know what it was like!) My son Michael is so typical of the SWC. At one moment he is loving and thoughtful; at the next he is relentlessly terrorizing his brother or mouthing off to his father.
I am forced to live what I teach every day. I am not giving you advice from a quiet corner. I am in the trenches with you. I know firsthand that having an SWC can be both the best and worst thing that can happen to you. Mike is strong and intelligent and determined. He can ruthlessly drive himself to master a task or achieve a goal. And yet the strength of his will is often at its worst when obstacles stand in the way of his plans or when his twin bother, Robert, is not his normally compliant self. Mike can quickly change from a focused, analytic child to a frustrated, impatient kid, loudly demanding his way. At times like this I hear him screaming at his brother:
"You’re fired, Robert! You’re not my brother anymore!" Of course, if Robert calls his bluff and walks away, Mike is quick to call him back—immediately suggesting at least a slight compromise.
If any of this sounds familiar, you’ve come to the right place! I’m about to offer you more hope and encouragement about your relationship with your SWC than you may have thought possible. I know we SWCs can drive you crazy. We know how to push the buttons that reduce you to rage in a matter of seconds. We seem to constantly choose to do things the hard way. School and other traditional functions may leave us bored, frustrated and restless.
But if you are the parent of an SWC, you have been given the opportunity to love, nurture and guide an individual who has great potential. Why not direct that wonderful and mysterious energy into the right channels, and use that marvelous determination to achieve positive results? True, you will be stretched and challenged beyond what you thought were your limits. But ultimately, you can be rewarded with an SWC who loves God, who loves you, and who leaves your home with the ability to be a successful adult.
This book can place in your hands a priceless treasure—the gift of understanding your SWC. I hope to give you a glimpse into the mind of an SWC so you can begin to see how it works. I want to offer you practical strategies for how to motivate and inspire your SWC rather than to simply engage in power struggles and pointless battles. I will offer guidelines to help you determine whether you need to do something drastic. What you are about to read and think about can heal your relationship with your SWC, bring peace to an argumentative family, and help you discover some wonderful things about yourself in the process.
Most of all, I hope this book shows you that instead of simply becoming exasperated and irritated with your SWC, you can honor and value what he or she does best, while still holding every individual accountable for moral and spiritual values.
Hang on, and keep an open mind!
Okay. That was longer than I thought it would be. So many of the things that she states are so typical of our child. Even down to the declaration of "You're fired!" Though our declaration was, "I did that cause I don't love my (sibling)."
If you know us at all, you will know immediately which of our children fits this bill. You will know which of our children causes us much stress. You will know which of our children is an absolute joy one second and an absolute monster the next.
Yep. We're in the boat. And we're hanging on for the ride.
Anyone right there paddling with us?!
Life With Littles
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Stuck
Do you ever get writer's block? I mean, a serious case of it, not just a little tiny issue with not knowing how to word something. A whoppin' issue with not even having a clue what to write.
That would describe me tonight.
Here I sit. The children are all in bed, though I'd be shocked if they are all asleep...a couple of them have lost all desire to ever sleep again. It doesn't make me very happy. But what's a mom to do? You can't very well force a child to drift off to la-la land.
Jason is in the field. Let me 'say' that again. Jason is in the field. Drilling beans. Seriously. It's May 24th and they are finally able to get some seed in the ground. I was beginning to think the day would never arrive. Never in my born days have I seen such a damp...er...wet spring. It's been a doozy.
SO. Anyway. Jason is in the field. For the third time. I like to say that little five word phrase. It just sounds good. Not that I like him to be away from home at 9:04PM, but he does have a pretty good excuse. An income for the year would be nice.
Anyway again. I sat down at the computer this afternoon when the children were napping with the sole intention of writing some clever something-or-other on here. But wouldn't you know, our internet wasn't working, so I opted to join the children in the napping section.
What have we been up to? Same thing as any other family with three children six and under. We get up in the morning, some with smiles and some with frowns. We eat breakfast...or should I say, some of us eat and some of us pick around for 1/2 hour. And the day begins.
Last week we got adventerous and went to my nephew Darin's Taiko concert at his school. It was cool. I'd never heard of Taiko before he started to play, but it's a Japanese thing. Big ole drums that they beat on with 1 inch (I think) dowel rods. Never have I heard such an organized racket. If you ever have the opportunity to attend a Taiko event, do it. Just make sure to stick ear plugs in your purse so they are handy if you feel you need them.
Don't say you weren't warned.
Sunday we had a family get together with Jason's family for his parents 51st anniversary. Fifty-one years. That's a long time. When we hit that 51 year mark, Jason will be 79 years old...and I'll be quite a bit younger than that. :)
It was a beautiful day. The rain came (surprise, surprise) for a little while we were eating, but it was a minor amount and soon left the premises. The children played some version of softball, some flew kites, and some...which would be our children...just ran around screeching.
We tried for a photo shoot of the two Jack's, but it didn't go too well. Yes, there are two little Jack's in the family. Ours is one, and Jason's sister has the other. It's kinda funny. Last summer she and I were discussing the fact that we sure hoped we didn't have the same boy name chosen. Wouldn't you know it, we did. After a little discussion we decided it would be okay, though perhaps a little confusing. After all, they live eight hours away and we don't see them too often. Their little guy is eight months old and is roughly the same size as ours. Both are wearing 18 month clothes. Big little boy.
Jack on the left was none too happy about the grass-tickling-his-toes situation.
Monday we moved our garden plot. Again. We've lived here for not quite three years and this is the third spot for the garden. The first year it was in the most logical spot on our property, but was aparently located too close to the neighbors field. The first time he sprayed his field, he also killed everything in our garden. Not a good crop.
The second year we placed it behind the barn in strips. A strip of garden about four feet wide, a strip of grass about four feet wide. A strip of garden, a strip of grass. And so on and so forth. It worked pretty well.
This year when we ventured out between rains to plant our garden, we discovered that the last several strips had standing water. Not good unless you plan to plant rice, which we weren't. To this day, they are still housing puddles and simply aren't going to be ready to plant anytime soon.
So. The plot is now up on top of the hill behind the barn. Yesterday (Monday) Jason had a little time and tilled it up for me. He piled some compost on it and informed me that I had to wait for him to til it again before I could plant anything. Now that he's in the field, who knows when that planting process will take place. I'm not complaining, though. No way. We need to get those corn and bean seeds in the ground. The garden will likely still grow even if it's planted way later than normal.
Jack and Addie faithfully followed behind the tiller to pick up rocks, while I snapped pictures, and Will napped. Never mind the fact that Will was supposed to be cleaning up the dog piles. He was simply too tired and sat down to nap right on the job. He missed the whole garden preparing process.
That's it in a nutshell. Our life is normal. Just like yours.
That would describe me tonight.
Here I sit. The children are all in bed, though I'd be shocked if they are all asleep...a couple of them have lost all desire to ever sleep again. It doesn't make me very happy. But what's a mom to do? You can't very well force a child to drift off to la-la land.
Jason is in the field. Let me 'say' that again. Jason is in the field. Drilling beans. Seriously. It's May 24th and they are finally able to get some seed in the ground. I was beginning to think the day would never arrive. Never in my born days have I seen such a damp...er...wet spring. It's been a doozy.
SO. Anyway. Jason is in the field. For the third time. I like to say that little five word phrase. It just sounds good. Not that I like him to be away from home at 9:04PM, but he does have a pretty good excuse. An income for the year would be nice.
Anyway again. I sat down at the computer this afternoon when the children were napping with the sole intention of writing some clever something-or-other on here. But wouldn't you know, our internet wasn't working, so I opted to join the children in the napping section.
What have we been up to? Same thing as any other family with three children six and under. We get up in the morning, some with smiles and some with frowns. We eat breakfast...or should I say, some of us eat and some of us pick around for 1/2 hour. And the day begins.
Last week we got adventerous and went to my nephew Darin's Taiko concert at his school. It was cool. I'd never heard of Taiko before he started to play, but it's a Japanese thing. Big ole drums that they beat on with 1 inch (I think) dowel rods. Never have I heard such an organized racket. If you ever have the opportunity to attend a Taiko event, do it. Just make sure to stick ear plugs in your purse so they are handy if you feel you need them.
Don't say you weren't warned.
Sunday we had a family get together with Jason's family for his parents 51st anniversary. Fifty-one years. That's a long time. When we hit that 51 year mark, Jason will be 79 years old...and I'll be quite a bit younger than that. :)
It was a beautiful day. The rain came (surprise, surprise) for a little while we were eating, but it was a minor amount and soon left the premises. The children played some version of softball, some flew kites, and some...which would be our children...just ran around screeching.
We tried for a photo shoot of the two Jack's, but it didn't go too well. Yes, there are two little Jack's in the family. Ours is one, and Jason's sister has the other. It's kinda funny. Last summer she and I were discussing the fact that we sure hoped we didn't have the same boy name chosen. Wouldn't you know it, we did. After a little discussion we decided it would be okay, though perhaps a little confusing. After all, they live eight hours away and we don't see them too often. Their little guy is eight months old and is roughly the same size as ours. Both are wearing 18 month clothes. Big little boy.
Monday we moved our garden plot. Again. We've lived here for not quite three years and this is the third spot for the garden. The first year it was in the most logical spot on our property, but was aparently located too close to the neighbors field. The first time he sprayed his field, he also killed everything in our garden. Not a good crop.
The second year we placed it behind the barn in strips. A strip of garden about four feet wide, a strip of grass about four feet wide. A strip of garden, a strip of grass. And so on and so forth. It worked pretty well.
This year when we ventured out between rains to plant our garden, we discovered that the last several strips had standing water. Not good unless you plan to plant rice, which we weren't. To this day, they are still housing puddles and simply aren't going to be ready to plant anytime soon.
So. The plot is now up on top of the hill behind the barn. Yesterday (Monday) Jason had a little time and tilled it up for me. He piled some compost on it and informed me that I had to wait for him to til it again before I could plant anything. Now that he's in the field, who knows when that planting process will take place. I'm not complaining, though. No way. We need to get those corn and bean seeds in the ground. The garden will likely still grow even if it's planted way later than normal.
Jack and Addie faithfully followed behind the tiller to pick up rocks, while I snapped pictures, and Will napped. Never mind the fact that Will was supposed to be cleaning up the dog piles. He was simply too tired and sat down to nap right on the job. He missed the whole garden preparing process.
That's it in a nutshell. Our life is normal. Just like yours.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Four Months Later
I can't believe it. Four months ago today we had our second court date for Jack. The one that actually 'worked' in our eyes. The one that made Jack our son on paper though he had already been our son in our hearts for five months.
Four months already.
Where does time go?
I get a woozy feeling in my tummy every time I remember the sick feeling I had when heading to court the morning of January 20th. The unknowns. The fear that the social workers had found new information. The fear that the judge would decide that Jack would be better off staying in Russia.
Not only were Jason and I dealing with this, but Addie and Will were as well. Poor Addie hadn't slept well for several nights due to worrying about our next court date. She was mad at the judge. She was upset thinking about Jack still being in the baby home rather than with us in our home away from home. She was sick about the fact that baby Jack might have to stay in Russia.
We tried to assure her that all was going to work out just the way God wanted it to, but it's hard to do that when you're questioning things yourself.
Anyway. Court obvoiusly worked out just fine as we have had Jack with us now for four months. Four months. I still can't believe it.
In some ways it seems like he's just always been a part of our family. In other ways it seems like he is the new baby on the block. We are always laughing at his antics. I am forever calling Jason to tell him of his most recent accomplishments.
Sound like the 'new baby syndrome' to you? :)
So how's he doing, you ask.
We couldn't have asked for a better adjustment time. We went into this adoption expecting the worst. Expecting to get a child who would struggle with attachment. Expecting to get a child who wouldn't care who was holding him as long as he was being held. Or even worse, expecting a child who didn't want anything to do with human contact.
Those do all happen, you know. We had that kind of experience once, but Praise the Lord...He has healed her!!!!
So. Back to Jack.
1. He's growing up. Sad, but true. But we'd be more sad if he was't growing up, so I guess I can't complain. By growing up I don't mean that he's now wearing 3T clothes. Still in mainly 18 month clothes, though in some 24 month shirts. Moved from size five shoes to size six shoes....with one pair of size seven sandals. Mr. Big Foot. Will didn't wear size six til he was about three, and Addie has just recently gone into a size eight. Whoa.
2. Still not talking much, but is more than able to get his point across. He nods and shakes his head to answer yes and no questions. He says all done. He says hi. He says uh-oh. Everything else is communicated through points and grunts. Really, who needs to talk when you have a big brother and sister who are more than willing to talk for you?!
3. He's mastered going up AND down the steps. Not sure how I feel about that, but he's really quite good at it. He walks up them like a big boy and then scoots down them on his bottom. Cute as a button.
(Believe it or not, he starts out his day wearing britches. After so many times of pulling them up again, he wearies of them and just leaves them lay on the floor. Little boy pants were not made to be worn without a diaper....)
4. He loves to write. He can find crayons and pencils when nobody else can. The only problem? He struggles to remember that we write on paper....not on walls, tables, floors, or chalkboards. Our other two weren't overly interested in the writing thing so I've never had to worry about it before now. Fun.
5. He still doesn't feed himself. Not because he isn't allowed, but because he really has no interest. I've tried. He just sits there and after a little while will pick up the spoon and give it to me to feed him. He does like to pick up finger foods, such as cookies, carrots, or bread, but the spoon thing is just too much work.
6. He still sleeps with us in our bed. I'm getting weary of getting kicked in the head. I'm getting weary of having his feet propped up on my tummy. But. I am so thankful to report that his rocking habit is now nearly nonexistent. After months of turning him on his side every time he started to rock he now flops on his side by himself. His little bald spot on the back of his head that was caused by rocking is now filled in. His hair is no longer tangly when he wakes in the morning. Of course, that could have to do with the fact that I chopped all his hair clean off the other day, but I prefer to believe that it means that the rocking is coming to an end. The last week or so he's spent a couple hours during the night awake. Pleasant. About 2:30 he wakes up and lays there tossing and turning with the occasional cry til about 4:00-4:30. Not so fun. I mean, I can understand a newborn, but a 21 month old?! :)
7. We have allowed a few people to hold him on a couple different occasions, but he isn't overly pleased with the arrangment. He'll allow it for a little, but after about a minute (at the most) he gets a most distressed look and starts craning his neck looking for me, his mommy. I'm pleased. Will was that same way, but Addie? She would have gone to anyone and everyone....and did, frequently. It didn't really matter to her who held her or who took care of her scraped knee. Any ole person would do just fine. Not Jack. He is quite attached to his mommy. His daddy is pretty neat, too, but even Jason holding him doesn't last for long. It's so nice to know that he knows that I am his mommy. He knows that if he needs something he can find me to get it. I love it. Most of the time. When I'm trying to fix supper and he's pulling me backwards by my skirt? Not so lovely.
8. He's starting to get his big brother wrapped around his little finger. Will is finally about back to his normal self since we ruined his life by bringing home a little fella. The two boys play together fairly nicely now. Currently, Will is teaching Jack the joys of loading tractor/wagons with blocks....and off they go!!! Both are smiling. Both are enjoying a playmate. I could sit here for hours and listen to the crashing blocks if it means that Will finally likes his little brother.
9. He's wearing big boy underwear. I am happy as a lark. Of course, he still has random accidents, but they are few and far between. That's to be expected. After all, Will still has 'accidents' and he's four. :) Just this week he's learned to sit on a regular toilet, so he can now go in town or whereever we happen to be without me toting the potty chair everywhere we go. Still wearing a diaper at night, but wakes up dry every single morning. I'm just not brave enough to risk a wet bed....when he's sleeping in my spot half the time.
10. He's learned the joy of a full fledged toddler fit on the floor. Complete with legs kicking, arms whacking, and high pitched screaming. Not cute. I thought that surely with this one we could bypass that stage. Not to be, I suppose. It takes next to nothing to get in this mode. Tractor stuck on chair leg? Throw a fit. Blankie too high to reach? Flop on the floor. It's not the cutest thing in the world.
That's our Jack. He's a bundle of energy and I don't ever have to wonder why I am so weary at the end of the day. Part of it's due to losing several hours of sleep each night....but the rest is due to cleaning up after the littlest munchkin around here. I forgot how much of a mess a toddler can make in such a short amount of time.
We have been some of the most blessed folks in the world. Never in our dreams would we have been heading to Russia to bring home children. Not even once. And here we've added the third one to our family. Only God could orchestrate somthing like that. Only God.
Are we ever going back? I'll have to admit that if it were possible I'd be heading back tomorrow. I love that country. I love bringing home children. I love everything about adoption. Well, almost. I really don't love the issues we have with sleeping, but that's pretty minor. I love how God blesses us humans with the capacity to love children who were not of our flesh and blood.
What a blessed family we are.
Praise the Lord.
Four months already.
Where does time go?
I get a woozy feeling in my tummy every time I remember the sick feeling I had when heading to court the morning of January 20th. The unknowns. The fear that the social workers had found new information. The fear that the judge would decide that Jack would be better off staying in Russia.
Not only were Jason and I dealing with this, but Addie and Will were as well. Poor Addie hadn't slept well for several nights due to worrying about our next court date. She was mad at the judge. She was upset thinking about Jack still being in the baby home rather than with us in our home away from home. She was sick about the fact that baby Jack might have to stay in Russia.
We tried to assure her that all was going to work out just the way God wanted it to, but it's hard to do that when you're questioning things yourself.
Anyway. Court obvoiusly worked out just fine as we have had Jack with us now for four months. Four months. I still can't believe it.
In some ways it seems like he's just always been a part of our family. In other ways it seems like he is the new baby on the block. We are always laughing at his antics. I am forever calling Jason to tell him of his most recent accomplishments.
Sound like the 'new baby syndrome' to you? :)
So how's he doing, you ask.
We couldn't have asked for a better adjustment time. We went into this adoption expecting the worst. Expecting to get a child who would struggle with attachment. Expecting to get a child who wouldn't care who was holding him as long as he was being held. Or even worse, expecting a child who didn't want anything to do with human contact.
Those do all happen, you know. We had that kind of experience once, but Praise the Lord...He has healed her!!!!
So. Back to Jack.
1. He's growing up. Sad, but true. But we'd be more sad if he was't growing up, so I guess I can't complain. By growing up I don't mean that he's now wearing 3T clothes. Still in mainly 18 month clothes, though in some 24 month shirts. Moved from size five shoes to size six shoes....with one pair of size seven sandals. Mr. Big Foot. Will didn't wear size six til he was about three, and Addie has just recently gone into a size eight. Whoa.
2. Still not talking much, but is more than able to get his point across. He nods and shakes his head to answer yes and no questions. He says all done. He says hi. He says uh-oh. Everything else is communicated through points and grunts. Really, who needs to talk when you have a big brother and sister who are more than willing to talk for you?!
3. He's mastered going up AND down the steps. Not sure how I feel about that, but he's really quite good at it. He walks up them like a big boy and then scoots down them on his bottom. Cute as a button.
4. He loves to write. He can find crayons and pencils when nobody else can. The only problem? He struggles to remember that we write on paper....not on walls, tables, floors, or chalkboards. Our other two weren't overly interested in the writing thing so I've never had to worry about it before now. Fun.
5. He still doesn't feed himself. Not because he isn't allowed, but because he really has no interest. I've tried. He just sits there and after a little while will pick up the spoon and give it to me to feed him. He does like to pick up finger foods, such as cookies, carrots, or bread, but the spoon thing is just too much work.
6. He still sleeps with us in our bed. I'm getting weary of getting kicked in the head. I'm getting weary of having his feet propped up on my tummy. But. I am so thankful to report that his rocking habit is now nearly nonexistent. After months of turning him on his side every time he started to rock he now flops on his side by himself. His little bald spot on the back of his head that was caused by rocking is now filled in. His hair is no longer tangly when he wakes in the morning. Of course, that could have to do with the fact that I chopped all his hair clean off the other day, but I prefer to believe that it means that the rocking is coming to an end. The last week or so he's spent a couple hours during the night awake. Pleasant. About 2:30 he wakes up and lays there tossing and turning with the occasional cry til about 4:00-4:30. Not so fun. I mean, I can understand a newborn, but a 21 month old?! :)
7. We have allowed a few people to hold him on a couple different occasions, but he isn't overly pleased with the arrangment. He'll allow it for a little, but after about a minute (at the most) he gets a most distressed look and starts craning his neck looking for me, his mommy. I'm pleased. Will was that same way, but Addie? She would have gone to anyone and everyone....and did, frequently. It didn't really matter to her who held her or who took care of her scraped knee. Any ole person would do just fine. Not Jack. He is quite attached to his mommy. His daddy is pretty neat, too, but even Jason holding him doesn't last for long. It's so nice to know that he knows that I am his mommy. He knows that if he needs something he can find me to get it. I love it. Most of the time. When I'm trying to fix supper and he's pulling me backwards by my skirt? Not so lovely.
8. He's starting to get his big brother wrapped around his little finger. Will is finally about back to his normal self since we ruined his life by bringing home a little fella. The two boys play together fairly nicely now. Currently, Will is teaching Jack the joys of loading tractor/wagons with blocks....and off they go!!! Both are smiling. Both are enjoying a playmate. I could sit here for hours and listen to the crashing blocks if it means that Will finally likes his little brother.
9. He's wearing big boy underwear. I am happy as a lark. Of course, he still has random accidents, but they are few and far between. That's to be expected. After all, Will still has 'accidents' and he's four. :) Just this week he's learned to sit on a regular toilet, so he can now go in town or whereever we happen to be without me toting the potty chair everywhere we go. Still wearing a diaper at night, but wakes up dry every single morning. I'm just not brave enough to risk a wet bed....when he's sleeping in my spot half the time.
10. He's learned the joy of a full fledged toddler fit on the floor. Complete with legs kicking, arms whacking, and high pitched screaming. Not cute. I thought that surely with this one we could bypass that stage. Not to be, I suppose. It takes next to nothing to get in this mode. Tractor stuck on chair leg? Throw a fit. Blankie too high to reach? Flop on the floor. It's not the cutest thing in the world.
That's our Jack. He's a bundle of energy and I don't ever have to wonder why I am so weary at the end of the day. Part of it's due to losing several hours of sleep each night....but the rest is due to cleaning up after the littlest munchkin around here. I forgot how much of a mess a toddler can make in such a short amount of time.
We have been some of the most blessed folks in the world. Never in our dreams would we have been heading to Russia to bring home children. Not even once. And here we've added the third one to our family. Only God could orchestrate somthing like that. Only God.
Are we ever going back? I'll have to admit that if it were possible I'd be heading back tomorrow. I love that country. I love bringing home children. I love everything about adoption. Well, almost. I really don't love the issues we have with sleeping, but that's pretty minor. I love how God blesses us humans with the capacity to love children who were not of our flesh and blood.
What a blessed family we are.
Praise the Lord.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
What Is Normal?
Have you ever thought about that?
What exactly is normal? Who sets the standard for normal?
I sometimes catch myself saying or thinking that ours is not a normal family. We didn't become a family in the traditional, normal way.
Normal for me is that my 'morning sickness' comes in the form of well water tests (that sometimes fail and have to be repeated), home study visits, blood draws, and large checks. My 'morning sickness' lasts the whole nine months, if you care to say it that way.
Normal for me is a 'pregnancy' that can take years. I'll never forget the time on our first adoption journey when my aunt sent me an e-mail that said, "If you were an elephant, you would be having your baby now!!! It's been two years...." Thank you, Aunt. :) Normal could be only 12 months, but as we have proven it can take three years or longer.
Normal for me is dealing with newborn sleep behaviors in, currently, a 21 month old. Before it was newborn sleep issues in a three year old. They don't wake up crying because they are hungry, they wake up crying because they are scared that you won't be there when they wake up. It'd be easier to just feed them, change a diaper, and stick them back in bed....but instead we get to reassure them that we love them and we are going nowhere. Not a big deal....but a sad one.
Normal for me is talking about birth mommy's who live in far-away lands. It's talking about the times that we met our children for the first time. It's looking through pictures that bring back some bad memories, memories that I wish so badly I could erase from little minds...but I know that only God can do that.
Normal for me is gauging my children's achievements to other people's children's achievements. I tend to forget that our children come to our family months and sometimes years younger (socially, mentally, and physically) than what their birth certificate states. I forget that our daughter came to us a 3 1/2 year old on an eighteen month old level. I forget that in the nearly three years that she's been in our home she has had so very much to learn. Our children have had to learn what it means to have a family. They have had to learn a whole new language. They have had to learn how to be children. They have had to learn how to trust an adult. It's so not fair of me to compare my children to yours. In fact, it's not even right. My children, just like yours, were made by God in His image. They are perfect just as they are.
Normal for me is appearing a little dense when at a new doctor's office. I always hope that they will simply accept what the form that I filled out says. Instead, they usually ask some odd question like, "What was the birth weight of your daughter?" To which I reply, "I don't know." :) Think that makes a mother look a little dense?! Don't worry, I explain in quick order that my child was adopted and we don't have that kind of information. "Any heart issues in the family?" Yep, my grandpa...but that won't affect my children. "Any cancer?" Yep, lots of that...but that won't affect my children. It's odd to not know the answers to those simple questions. Something that we all take for granted.
Normal for me is listening to my children playing that they are going to the airport rather than to the hospital. They pack their bags, make sure they have their passports and lots of cash :), and fly to the determined country of the day. They stress about going to court to see the judge. They are elated when they go to pick up their chooldren at the ofinage. They come to me to show me their recently adopted children. Typically a boy and a girl...sometimes a couple of each. Then they hop in their airplane and fly back home where the babies are put to bed and they spend a whole lot of time unpacking all the bags that they packed.
Normal to me is having 'babies' who vary in age but have thus far all been walking. One talking. It's a crash course in toddler-hood and all the trials and joys that go along with that stage. None of the growing with the baby stuff...we jump in with both feet.
I love my normal. I wouldn't trade it for anything as I know that I wouldn't have our three children if my normal were as a normal persons normal is. Say that really fast three times.
Really, though. What is normal? I think that normal is however God made you. My normal isn't like your normal. Your normal is nothing like your sister's normal. Your sister's normal is a far cry from her cousin's normal.
God made us all different, yet all are created in His image. Sometimes it's so easy for me to look around and compare my life with my 'neighbor's' life. Way too easy. Maybe I'm the only one who does that, but I suspect not.
We're human. We all struggle with the 'normal' struggles....and one of them is comparing ourselves among ourselves.
I'm going to issue a challenge to myself. Self. Stop comparing my life to my neighbors life. Start being more content with where God has placed me. Start being thankful for the 'normal' that God has blessed me with.
Contentment. That, my friends, is a whole nother topic for a whole nother day.
So. What is the normal that God has blessed you with? Have you thanked Him for that normal today?!
What exactly is normal? Who sets the standard for normal?
I sometimes catch myself saying or thinking that ours is not a normal family. We didn't become a family in the traditional, normal way.
Normal for me is that my 'morning sickness' comes in the form of well water tests (that sometimes fail and have to be repeated), home study visits, blood draws, and large checks. My 'morning sickness' lasts the whole nine months, if you care to say it that way.
Normal for me is a 'pregnancy' that can take years. I'll never forget the time on our first adoption journey when my aunt sent me an e-mail that said, "If you were an elephant, you would be having your baby now!!! It's been two years...." Thank you, Aunt. :) Normal could be only 12 months, but as we have proven it can take three years or longer.
Normal for me is dealing with newborn sleep behaviors in, currently, a 21 month old. Before it was newborn sleep issues in a three year old. They don't wake up crying because they are hungry, they wake up crying because they are scared that you won't be there when they wake up. It'd be easier to just feed them, change a diaper, and stick them back in bed....but instead we get to reassure them that we love them and we are going nowhere. Not a big deal....but a sad one.
Normal for me is talking about birth mommy's who live in far-away lands. It's talking about the times that we met our children for the first time. It's looking through pictures that bring back some bad memories, memories that I wish so badly I could erase from little minds...but I know that only God can do that.
Normal for me is gauging my children's achievements to other people's children's achievements. I tend to forget that our children come to our family months and sometimes years younger (socially, mentally, and physically) than what their birth certificate states. I forget that our daughter came to us a 3 1/2 year old on an eighteen month old level. I forget that in the nearly three years that she's been in our home she has had so very much to learn. Our children have had to learn what it means to have a family. They have had to learn a whole new language. They have had to learn how to be children. They have had to learn how to trust an adult. It's so not fair of me to compare my children to yours. In fact, it's not even right. My children, just like yours, were made by God in His image. They are perfect just as they are.
Normal for me is appearing a little dense when at a new doctor's office. I always hope that they will simply accept what the form that I filled out says. Instead, they usually ask some odd question like, "What was the birth weight of your daughter?" To which I reply, "I don't know." :) Think that makes a mother look a little dense?! Don't worry, I explain in quick order that my child was adopted and we don't have that kind of information. "Any heart issues in the family?" Yep, my grandpa...but that won't affect my children. "Any cancer?" Yep, lots of that...but that won't affect my children. It's odd to not know the answers to those simple questions. Something that we all take for granted.
Normal for me is listening to my children playing that they are going to the airport rather than to the hospital. They pack their bags, make sure they have their passports and lots of cash :), and fly to the determined country of the day. They stress about going to court to see the judge. They are elated when they go to pick up their chooldren at the ofinage. They come to me to show me their recently adopted children. Typically a boy and a girl...sometimes a couple of each. Then they hop in their airplane and fly back home where the babies are put to bed and they spend a whole lot of time unpacking all the bags that they packed.
Normal to me is having 'babies' who vary in age but have thus far all been walking. One talking. It's a crash course in toddler-hood and all the trials and joys that go along with that stage. None of the growing with the baby stuff...we jump in with both feet.
I love my normal. I wouldn't trade it for anything as I know that I wouldn't have our three children if my normal were as a normal persons normal is. Say that really fast three times.
Really, though. What is normal? I think that normal is however God made you. My normal isn't like your normal. Your normal is nothing like your sister's normal. Your sister's normal is a far cry from her cousin's normal.
God made us all different, yet all are created in His image. Sometimes it's so easy for me to look around and compare my life with my 'neighbor's' life. Way too easy. Maybe I'm the only one who does that, but I suspect not.
We're human. We all struggle with the 'normal' struggles....and one of them is comparing ourselves among ourselves.
I'm going to issue a challenge to myself. Self. Stop comparing my life to my neighbors life. Start being more content with where God has placed me. Start being thankful for the 'normal' that God has blessed me with.
Contentment. That, my friends, is a whole nother topic for a whole nother day.
So. What is the normal that God has blessed you with? Have you thanked Him for that normal today?!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Last Week
I eluded to the fact that last week was a busy one. I wasn't kidding.
I don't think I can even come close to putting it all on 'paper' but I'm gonna try for the sake of my 'diary'.
You don't have to read it if you don't want to. I won't feel bad. In fact, I won't ever even know it.
Monday. It was a normal day, I think. Jason wasn't in the field quite yet so he was out the door about 7:00 and home again for lunch at 12:00. The children did their chores, the boys played for a little while Addie did school, and they all took naps from 10:30-12:00. Or something like that. Lunch over, the children played. Jason hauled several tractor bucket loads of decomposed cow manure from the pile behind the barn and we spent the afternoon spreading it on my flowerbeds. That evening after supper we went to the greenhouse around the corner from us and bought a multitude of flowers. Went home and started planting. Went in the house about 10:00 which meant that the children got to bed roughly two hours later than normal.
Some ladies don't like it when their husbands are home all the time, but frankly? I love it!!! What more could I ask for than to see my best friend walk in the door several times a day rather than just at 5:00 in the evening?! Plus. It sometimes offers me a break as he is able to take one or two children with him frequently.
Tuesday. Jason was out the door at normal time and the children did their chores. Does this sound familiar? Anyway. We skipped school. Bad teacher, I suppose, but sometimes a little break is a much needed thing at this house. Instead, we headed off to the greenhouse again where we bought a multitude more flowers. Went home, got most of them planted before the rain came....but it actually never did come. It split before it reached our house, which meant I had to water the flowers in myself. Lunch was normal and then the abnormal happened. Jason was able to start working in the field. Quite abnormal for this spring. In a typical year the planting is almost done. This year? They have about 1/10 of the crops planted. I can't really complain. There is nothing that we can do about it, but it would be nice to have our potential income in the ground!! That night, Jason was home for supper as they were rained out of the field where they were.
Wednesday. A long awaited day for Addie. One week before, I had taken her down the road to the school where she will attend next year to be tested. The test didn't go too great, but that's another topic for another day. Anyway. The test administrator advised that we get her eyes checked. This was the day of her eye doctor appointment. The day that she was sure she would be receiving her first REAL pair of glasses. The morning went normally and we headed off to her appointment. Thankfully, Jason had 'offered' to keep Will (or was it that I volunteered his services?) so I only had to wrestle with Jack while in the doctor's office. Much to Addie's dismay, the doctor did not give her glasses. She has a bit of astigmatism + is far sided, but the doc didn't advise getting her glasses until she started to school full time. That gives us a few more months to be glasses free. I was elated. She not so much. To soothe her sorrow we headed to McDonalds for chicken nuggets and french fries. Then it was out on the time. When I only have two munchkins with me, we hit it hard. Still in town at supper time? Bummer. :) We picked up some foot longs from Subway and headed to the field to feed our men. That'd be Jason and Will, who tends to think that he's a man after spending a day with his daddy.
Thursday. The busiest day in the history of my life, I think. Maybe not quite, but it had to be a pretty close second. While eating breakfast, a meal that I am usually not overly chatty at, I asked Jason if he could possibly get the tiller out of the barn for me. He agreed, but then proceeded to til the garden for me. I didn't complain. He finally had to quit and the planting ensued. The children and I got the tomatoes, cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, and potatoes planted. Need more area for the green beans, lima beans, and corn. The children were actually very helpful in accomplishing my tasks. We had to take Jason his lunch due to his forgetful wife forgetting to pack it, get home, do the chores, mow the yard, get everyone showered and dressed nicely, race Jason his supper, and get to my nieces school for her kindergarten graduation by 7:00. We made it, but it was a close one. Afer the graduation, we headed to Dad and Mom's for some celabratory brownies and then home to crash into bed.
Friday. Normal morning. Chores, school, play, naps. Had to take Jason his lunch once again as I once again forgot to pack it. Hopefully one of these days I'll remember. Don't have to anytime soon cause they are once again rained out. Anyway. We went on to town to pick up our milk. Back home to finish up the day with normal activities. Out to the pasture to do chores. Fed the children, partially, and had to stop when Jason called to say that they had been rained out. He was coming home for supper!!!! I wish I had pictures of the children when he pulled in the drive. I'm pretty sure that the screeches and victory dances could have been heard for miles around. I say the children. Really, I meant all of us. I tried to refrain from the screaming and the dances, but I was just as excited, if not more so, to see him come home as the children were. There's just nothing quite like seeing his pick-up turn into our drive...especially during farming season.
Saturday. We slept in a tad, but shouldn't have as they were back in the field pretty quick. After a late breakfast, the whole family....all five of us...headed to the pasture to work on setting up fence for this week. Two hours later we left the pasture and Jason raced out the door to the field. I spent the afternoon in the kitchen while Will swept the house and cleaned the bathroom and Addie baked up a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I have never been so thankful for such helpful children in my life. In fact. Addie even took it upon herself to rock Jack to sleep when she saw how busy I was. Not that she was upset about that.
Jason took off from the field about 3:00 to come home and chore (a fact that I didn't complain about), we ate supper at 5:00, and he headed back to the field taking with him two of our three children. All were happy beyond words at the arrangment. As much as I love our children, sometimes a break is simply a very needed thing. While Addie and Will were gone, I still had Jack to deal with though. No problem. He occupied himself with unloading my clothes pin bag and depositing them at odd spots all over our house. While it added to my work, it also kept him entertained for well over an hour. It was a win/win. :)
That was our week. It went quickly and I made more trips out and about in those brief six days than I typically do in three weeks.
But. I'm thankful. I'm thankful that Jason at least got started in the field. I'm thankful that I don't mind doing the chores. I'm thankful that I'm not scared of cows as I was the first year we had them. I'm thankful that I have a husband who knows me well enough to know when I could use a break from the chattering. I'm thankful that I have a husband who is understanding when meals are 45 minutes late. I'm thankful that the Lord has placed me where I am.
Now. If I can just remember all that on the days when thankfulness is not at the top of my list.
I don't think I can even come close to putting it all on 'paper' but I'm gonna try for the sake of my 'diary'.
You don't have to read it if you don't want to. I won't feel bad. In fact, I won't ever even know it.
Monday. It was a normal day, I think. Jason wasn't in the field quite yet so he was out the door about 7:00 and home again for lunch at 12:00. The children did their chores, the boys played for a little while Addie did school, and they all took naps from 10:30-12:00. Or something like that. Lunch over, the children played. Jason hauled several tractor bucket loads of decomposed cow manure from the pile behind the barn and we spent the afternoon spreading it on my flowerbeds. That evening after supper we went to the greenhouse around the corner from us and bought a multitude of flowers. Went home and started planting. Went in the house about 10:00 which meant that the children got to bed roughly two hours later than normal.
Some ladies don't like it when their husbands are home all the time, but frankly? I love it!!! What more could I ask for than to see my best friend walk in the door several times a day rather than just at 5:00 in the evening?! Plus. It sometimes offers me a break as he is able to take one or two children with him frequently.
Tuesday. Jason was out the door at normal time and the children did their chores. Does this sound familiar? Anyway. We skipped school. Bad teacher, I suppose, but sometimes a little break is a much needed thing at this house. Instead, we headed off to the greenhouse again where we bought a multitude more flowers. Went home, got most of them planted before the rain came....but it actually never did come. It split before it reached our house, which meant I had to water the flowers in myself. Lunch was normal and then the abnormal happened. Jason was able to start working in the field. Quite abnormal for this spring. In a typical year the planting is almost done. This year? They have about 1/10 of the crops planted. I can't really complain. There is nothing that we can do about it, but it would be nice to have our potential income in the ground!! That night, Jason was home for supper as they were rained out of the field where they were.
Wednesday. A long awaited day for Addie. One week before, I had taken her down the road to the school where she will attend next year to be tested. The test didn't go too great, but that's another topic for another day. Anyway. The test administrator advised that we get her eyes checked. This was the day of her eye doctor appointment. The day that she was sure she would be receiving her first REAL pair of glasses. The morning went normally and we headed off to her appointment. Thankfully, Jason had 'offered' to keep Will (or was it that I volunteered his services?) so I only had to wrestle with Jack while in the doctor's office. Much to Addie's dismay, the doctor did not give her glasses. She has a bit of astigmatism + is far sided, but the doc didn't advise getting her glasses until she started to school full time. That gives us a few more months to be glasses free. I was elated. She not so much. To soothe her sorrow we headed to McDonalds for chicken nuggets and french fries. Then it was out on the time. When I only have two munchkins with me, we hit it hard. Still in town at supper time? Bummer. :) We picked up some foot longs from Subway and headed to the field to feed our men. That'd be Jason and Will, who tends to think that he's a man after spending a day with his daddy.
Thursday. The busiest day in the history of my life, I think. Maybe not quite, but it had to be a pretty close second. While eating breakfast, a meal that I am usually not overly chatty at, I asked Jason if he could possibly get the tiller out of the barn for me. He agreed, but then proceeded to til the garden for me. I didn't complain. He finally had to quit and the planting ensued. The children and I got the tomatoes, cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, and potatoes planted. Need more area for the green beans, lima beans, and corn. The children were actually very helpful in accomplishing my tasks. We had to take Jason his lunch due to his forgetful wife forgetting to pack it, get home, do the chores, mow the yard, get everyone showered and dressed nicely, race Jason his supper, and get to my nieces school for her kindergarten graduation by 7:00. We made it, but it was a close one. Afer the graduation, we headed to Dad and Mom's for some celabratory brownies and then home to crash into bed.
Friday. Normal morning. Chores, school, play, naps. Had to take Jason his lunch once again as I once again forgot to pack it. Hopefully one of these days I'll remember. Don't have to anytime soon cause they are once again rained out. Anyway. We went on to town to pick up our milk. Back home to finish up the day with normal activities. Out to the pasture to do chores. Fed the children, partially, and had to stop when Jason called to say that they had been rained out. He was coming home for supper!!!! I wish I had pictures of the children when he pulled in the drive. I'm pretty sure that the screeches and victory dances could have been heard for miles around. I say the children. Really, I meant all of us. I tried to refrain from the screaming and the dances, but I was just as excited, if not more so, to see him come home as the children were. There's just nothing quite like seeing his pick-up turn into our drive...especially during farming season.
Saturday. We slept in a tad, but shouldn't have as they were back in the field pretty quick. After a late breakfast, the whole family....all five of us...headed to the pasture to work on setting up fence for this week. Two hours later we left the pasture and Jason raced out the door to the field. I spent the afternoon in the kitchen while Will swept the house and cleaned the bathroom and Addie baked up a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I have never been so thankful for such helpful children in my life. In fact. Addie even took it upon herself to rock Jack to sleep when she saw how busy I was. Not that she was upset about that.
Jason took off from the field about 3:00 to come home and chore (a fact that I didn't complain about), we ate supper at 5:00, and he headed back to the field taking with him two of our three children. All were happy beyond words at the arrangment. As much as I love our children, sometimes a break is simply a very needed thing. While Addie and Will were gone, I still had Jack to deal with though. No problem. He occupied himself with unloading my clothes pin bag and depositing them at odd spots all over our house. While it added to my work, it also kept him entertained for well over an hour. It was a win/win. :)
That was our week. It went quickly and I made more trips out and about in those brief six days than I typically do in three weeks.
But. I'm thankful. I'm thankful that Jason at least got started in the field. I'm thankful that I don't mind doing the chores. I'm thankful that I'm not scared of cows as I was the first year we had them. I'm thankful that I have a husband who knows me well enough to know when I could use a break from the chattering. I'm thankful that I have a husband who is understanding when meals are 45 minutes late. I'm thankful that the Lord has placed me where I am.
Now. If I can just remember all that on the days when thankfulness is not at the top of my list.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Near and Dear
I logged onto my blog this afternoon fully intending to bore you all with the mundane, nitty-gritty details of our life. It's no different than life at anyone else's home.
We're a busy family. The three munchkins in our lives kinda force that.
Anyway. Rather than boring you all to tears I'll provide you with a link that I've been just waiting to provide you with. It's actually a blog on the side of mine. International Familia is a blog of a family who just recently returned home with their sweet little boy from the Vlad area.
Obviously, the Vlad area is near and dear to my heart.
Sabrina, the blog writer, details a program that I am most interested in. The Grandma program for orphanages in the Vlad area.
Why does that interest me so very, very much? We have seen first hand the enormous benefits of this program.
You see? Many baby homes/orphanages don't have this blessing. Perhaps I should try to explain to you what exactly this program entails.
The Grandma Program simply pays retired grandparents to go into the orphanages to help out the caregivers. They may take the babies on walks in their prams...
as they did at both Will's baby home in Artem and Jack's baby home in Nakhodka.
The grandmas may simply go in and give the children extremely important one on one attention.
They may go in and just act like grandparents. While they are filling a very important need in the children's lives, they are also filling a very important need in their own lives. It is providing them with a purpose. It is providing them with 'grandchildren' if they have none of their 'own'. It is providing them with a little bit of an income.
For just two dollars a day or sixty dollars a month or seven hundred twenty dollars a year, one more grandma/grandpa can walk through the doors of an orphanage and change a child's life.
You can read all about the program at the Vlad Mission website. You can donate directly on that website where you can read all about the program in full details.
We fully believe that the Bible states that we are to care for the orphans. If we aren't called to bring an orphan into our home, perhaps we can spare $60 per month to help give some orphans the love that they so desperately need. Or even $10 a month.
The amount doesn't matter. The care that the orphans receive does.
So that's that. Rather than an ultra boring post about our little family and our daily lives, I leave you with this meat to chew on. And pray about.
Only God knows just how much those little ones will blossom from knowing that one grandparent figure in this world loves them.
We're a busy family. The three munchkins in our lives kinda force that.
Anyway. Rather than boring you all to tears I'll provide you with a link that I've been just waiting to provide you with. It's actually a blog on the side of mine. International Familia is a blog of a family who just recently returned home with their sweet little boy from the Vlad area.
Obviously, the Vlad area is near and dear to my heart.
Sabrina, the blog writer, details a program that I am most interested in. The Grandma program for orphanages in the Vlad area.
Why does that interest me so very, very much? We have seen first hand the enormous benefits of this program.
You see? Many baby homes/orphanages don't have this blessing. Perhaps I should try to explain to you what exactly this program entails.
The Grandma Program simply pays retired grandparents to go into the orphanages to help out the caregivers. They may take the babies on walks in their prams...
The grandmas may simply go in and give the children extremely important one on one attention.
They may go in and just act like grandparents. While they are filling a very important need in the children's lives, they are also filling a very important need in their own lives. It is providing them with a purpose. It is providing them with 'grandchildren' if they have none of their 'own'. It is providing them with a little bit of an income.
For just two dollars a day or sixty dollars a month or seven hundred twenty dollars a year, one more grandma/grandpa can walk through the doors of an orphanage and change a child's life.
You can read all about the program at the Vlad Mission website. You can donate directly on that website where you can read all about the program in full details.
We fully believe that the Bible states that we are to care for the orphans. If we aren't called to bring an orphan into our home, perhaps we can spare $60 per month to help give some orphans the love that they so desperately need. Or even $10 a month.
The amount doesn't matter. The care that the orphans receive does.
So that's that. Rather than an ultra boring post about our little family and our daily lives, I leave you with this meat to chew on. And pray about.
Only God knows just how much those little ones will blossom from knowing that one grandparent figure in this world loves them.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
First I am.....
1. A wife. To the most wonderful man around, I must add. Seriously. Though I hope that any of you ladies who are married will argue with me on that one. Maybe I should say....to the most wonderful man for me.
2. A mommy. Most days being this person is grand. Some days I wonder what in the world God gave us children for. I have got to be the most impatient mom in the world. And sad but true, I often tend to forget that my children are just that...children.
3. A chef. It seems that my days are spent in the kitchen. Cooking three meals a day for a family of five takes time. Not as much time as it would if it were a family of 15 though, so I can't complain. But really. Til I come up with a menu, cook, and clean up for 21 meals every single week, I nearly live in the kitchen. Good think I like the color of the walls.
4. A cleaning lady. These days that title isn't quite mine, though. I have two wonderful little folks who run around here cleaning the house every day. About all I have to do is touch things up and do a final sweep job on Saturday. I have it made.
5. A choregirl. Never did I think that I would get to do chores daily, but in this season, I do. Thankfully, I don't mind it. For nearly an hour several days this week the children and I headed out the door to feed sheep, fill up water tanks, move cows and sheep to the next days pasture. I enjoy it. Odd, I know.
6. A gardener. Monday my dear husband helped me mulch most of my flowerbeds with cow manure that has been aging behind our barn. Rather disgusting...but free mulch! Can't beat that! We then went down the road to a lovely greenhouse where we proceeded to spend too much money on flowers. I planted most of them yet that night....and went back the next day to buy some more. :) Most of them are now in their proper spots in the flowerbed. The garden? Jason tilled much of it Wednesday morning before he headed to the field (Praise the Lord!!!! They finally were able to get in the field this week for the first time this spring. In a normal year they are nearly done with the planting by now. Not so this year.) and the children and I planted cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes and potatoes. That was added to our lettuce, radishes, peas, carrots, and onions. Still need to plant zucchini, summer squash, melons, green beans, lima beans, corn, and cucumbers. Though gardening is far from my favorite pasttime, I am slooowwwwllllyyyy learning to halfway enjoy it.
7. A very tired lady. This week wore me out. More on that some other time.
8. A blogger. You thought I forgot about this thing? Oh no. I didn't. I simply haven't had the time to sit at the computer all week until tonight....at 9:45. Quite frankly, I am amazed that 100+ folks out there checked this thing yesterday. Who knows, maybe the same 10 people simply checked it 17 times.
Right now? I am too weary to even consider uploading my pictures from the week...and I have to admit that there aren't many pictures to even upload. My camera is feeling neglected.
And so is my bed. I must be off.
2. A mommy. Most days being this person is grand. Some days I wonder what in the world God gave us children for. I have got to be the most impatient mom in the world. And sad but true, I often tend to forget that my children are just that...children.
3. A chef. It seems that my days are spent in the kitchen. Cooking three meals a day for a family of five takes time. Not as much time as it would if it were a family of 15 though, so I can't complain. But really. Til I come up with a menu, cook, and clean up for 21 meals every single week, I nearly live in the kitchen. Good think I like the color of the walls.
4. A cleaning lady. These days that title isn't quite mine, though. I have two wonderful little folks who run around here cleaning the house every day. About all I have to do is touch things up and do a final sweep job on Saturday. I have it made.
5. A choregirl. Never did I think that I would get to do chores daily, but in this season, I do. Thankfully, I don't mind it. For nearly an hour several days this week the children and I headed out the door to feed sheep, fill up water tanks, move cows and sheep to the next days pasture. I enjoy it. Odd, I know.
6. A gardener. Monday my dear husband helped me mulch most of my flowerbeds with cow manure that has been aging behind our barn. Rather disgusting...but free mulch! Can't beat that! We then went down the road to a lovely greenhouse where we proceeded to spend too much money on flowers. I planted most of them yet that night....and went back the next day to buy some more. :) Most of them are now in their proper spots in the flowerbed. The garden? Jason tilled much of it Wednesday morning before he headed to the field (Praise the Lord!!!! They finally were able to get in the field this week for the first time this spring. In a normal year they are nearly done with the planting by now. Not so this year.) and the children and I planted cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes and potatoes. That was added to our lettuce, radishes, peas, carrots, and onions. Still need to plant zucchini, summer squash, melons, green beans, lima beans, corn, and cucumbers. Though gardening is far from my favorite pasttime, I am slooowwwwllllyyyy learning to halfway enjoy it.
7. A very tired lady. This week wore me out. More on that some other time.
8. A blogger. You thought I forgot about this thing? Oh no. I didn't. I simply haven't had the time to sit at the computer all week until tonight....at 9:45. Quite frankly, I am amazed that 100+ folks out there checked this thing yesterday. Who knows, maybe the same 10 people simply checked it 17 times.
Right now? I am too weary to even consider uploading my pictures from the week...and I have to admit that there aren't many pictures to even upload. My camera is feeling neglected.
And so is my bed. I must be off.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Sunday Celebrations
Starting Saturday night.
*Sidenote....if this comes out as being rather jumbled, I'm blaming Will. The children are playing church and Will is the most exuberant preacher. "The spirit of Satan is BAD. The spirit of Jesus is GOOD. YES THEY ARE." And on and on and on. "But the only Gospel is that He comed back up to life! Yes He did. The other mans were bad, but Jesus was not." And on and on and on. It's now prayer time.
Obviously I am listening more to church than I am paying attention to this blog post. :)
Anyway.
Saturday sometime Addie and Will came racing into the house shouting that we were going to town that night. I informed them that we weren't. They shouted all the louder, "Yes we are! Daddy said so. But it's a surprise and we can't tell you what we're going for and you can't 'plain 'bout the secret 'cause you do that to us all the time and we are too going to town and we're going to get you something for Mother's Day 'cause it's tomorrow and we can't wait but you can't be with us in the store 'cause then it wouldn't be a surprise any more and I can't wait til we go to town 'cause it's gonna be fun and maybe you will have to sit in the car while we go in the store and that wouldn't be fun for you but that's sometimes what has to happen when there's a secret and I CAN'T WAIT TIL TONIGHT!!!"
Then they stopped the shouting, took a deep breath or two, and raced back outside to make some more secret plans with Daddy.
To say they were excited would be a vast understatement.
They gobbled down supper that night faster than they have ever eaten in the history of their short lives. They raced to the bathroom after supper and waited quite impatiently while I shoved them through the shower.
Sidenote #2. Church is now over and they have hopped in their car to go to McDonalds for lunch.
Back to Saturday night. (Are you tired of hopping around yet?)
Showers were accomplished in record time and Addie and Will waited by the door for at least 15 minutes while Jason and I spruced up. Til we finally
left for town they were about to bounce right out of their skin.
On the way to town Jason gave them their choice of which store they wanted to go to. Lowes, Tractor Supply, Wal-Mart, KMart. Not a real great selection, but the best we have here in our small town. One vote for Lowes and one vote for Wal-Mart. I was ever so pleased when Wal-Mart won. At least they have a varied stock that I could browse while the rest of the family shunned me.
The children made sure that I understood that I WAS NOT ALLOWED to watch them. I had to go in one door while they went in the other. I had to stay as far away from them as I possibly could.
Addie was quite stressed the one time that they caught a glimpse of me.
According to the adult figure who chaperoned the little shoppers, Addie took her job quite seriously while her little brother thought they should buy me whatever caught his eye. Cat food, shovel..you name it. His heart clearly wasn't into the buying-for-a-lady deal.
Addie desperately wanted to buy some tall glass things that had a tail, but they couldn't find any. (That would be her description of a goblet, we figured out when we got home.) Instead she settled on a bottle of yummy smelling lotion and Will got me an ice cream scoop. I know. I had to laugh a little. He made sure that he chose (according to him) a 'glass' (otherwise known as metal) one that I wouldn't break. Last week I actually broke a very heavy duty ice cream scoop while trying to dip some extra hard ice cream.
They also got me a card and a pack of blue gum...which I found out about on the way home from town. Addie said she wanted some and Daddy wouldn't let her buy it...and Will blurted out that maybe "Mommy will share hers after she opens it tomorrow". :)
That night when we tucked the children in bed they both informed us they would get up early so they could give me their specially chosen gifts. We assured them that I could wait to get the gifts...just get plenty of sleep.
Nevertheless, both children's feet hit the floor about 7:00. They tiptoed down the steps and stood whispering at our door. Finally, they gave up ever seeing us wiggle and went to the living room to read books. But, trust me, they kept a close eye on us. At the first wiggle, they erupted in giggles and ran to the dining room to grab my gift.
I felt like a queen. I got to open my gift in bed.
Will accidentally-on-purpose blurted out that he hoped I liked the ice cream scoop cause he picked it out and it wasn't going to break this time cause it was glass and not plastic and it was fun choosing the ice cream scoop and Daddy thought it was a good idea and....
Addie perched her little self on my right foot and bounced and grinned.
It wouldn't have mattered had they chosen to buy cat food. I would have been thrilled.
Gifts opened and appropriately oohed and aahed over, we tumbled out of bed to ready for church.
After church we went to the park to meet the rest of my family for lunch. It was a chilly venture at first, but judging by the red nose I am now sporting, I'd say it ended up being beautiful and warm. I can hardly believe those two words finally made it into the same sentence. We've had beautiful and cold, and we've had rainy and warm, but we haven't really had the beautiful and warm.
It was a fun day. The children had a ball.
Will taught us all how to climb up the outside of a curly slide....
Clay nibbled on chips which were spilled on the ground....
and picked dandelions....
and just generally looked adorable....
The three girls took walks....
Brandon, Will, and Karter made sure that the soles of their shoes gripped well....
Jack learned the joys of swinging....
Darin rescued Jack from lofty heights....
And I apologize to the two boys whose pictures I failed to take.
After the park, my dear husband took us all to Dairy Clean where we feasted on Sundae's and blizzards.
Then we came home. And we went to the pasture to 'help' Jason with chores.
We watched the sheep....
and the cows....
We rocked babies....
and practiced our balance on a beam....
helped Daddy reel up the polybraid....
and took more pictures of the sheep and cows.
Then. We walked back home. We all took nice warm showers. We crawled into bed praising God for giving us such a wonderful day.
And we drifted off to sleep.
*Sidenote....if this comes out as being rather jumbled, I'm blaming Will. The children are playing church and Will is the most exuberant preacher. "The spirit of Satan is BAD. The spirit of Jesus is GOOD. YES THEY ARE." And on and on and on. "But the only Gospel is that He comed back up to life! Yes He did. The other mans were bad, but Jesus was not." And on and on and on. It's now prayer time.
Obviously I am listening more to church than I am paying attention to this blog post. :)
Anyway.
Saturday sometime Addie and Will came racing into the house shouting that we were going to town that night. I informed them that we weren't. They shouted all the louder, "Yes we are! Daddy said so. But it's a surprise and we can't tell you what we're going for and you can't 'plain 'bout the secret 'cause you do that to us all the time and we are too going to town and we're going to get you something for Mother's Day 'cause it's tomorrow and we can't wait but you can't be with us in the store 'cause then it wouldn't be a surprise any more and I can't wait til we go to town 'cause it's gonna be fun and maybe you will have to sit in the car while we go in the store and that wouldn't be fun for you but that's sometimes what has to happen when there's a secret and I CAN'T WAIT TIL TONIGHT!!!"
Then they stopped the shouting, took a deep breath or two, and raced back outside to make some more secret plans with Daddy.
To say they were excited would be a vast understatement.
They gobbled down supper that night faster than they have ever eaten in the history of their short lives. They raced to the bathroom after supper and waited quite impatiently while I shoved them through the shower.
Sidenote #2. Church is now over and they have hopped in their car to go to McDonalds for lunch.
Back to Saturday night. (Are you tired of hopping around yet?)
Showers were accomplished in record time and Addie and Will waited by the door for at least 15 minutes while Jason and I spruced up. Til we finally
left for town they were about to bounce right out of their skin.
On the way to town Jason gave them their choice of which store they wanted to go to. Lowes, Tractor Supply, Wal-Mart, KMart. Not a real great selection, but the best we have here in our small town. One vote for Lowes and one vote for Wal-Mart. I was ever so pleased when Wal-Mart won. At least they have a varied stock that I could browse while the rest of the family shunned me.
The children made sure that I understood that I WAS NOT ALLOWED to watch them. I had to go in one door while they went in the other. I had to stay as far away from them as I possibly could.
Addie was quite stressed the one time that they caught a glimpse of me.
According to the adult figure who chaperoned the little shoppers, Addie took her job quite seriously while her little brother thought they should buy me whatever caught his eye. Cat food, shovel..you name it. His heart clearly wasn't into the buying-for-a-lady deal.
Addie desperately wanted to buy some tall glass things that had a tail, but they couldn't find any. (That would be her description of a goblet, we figured out when we got home.) Instead she settled on a bottle of yummy smelling lotion and Will got me an ice cream scoop. I know. I had to laugh a little. He made sure that he chose (according to him) a 'glass' (otherwise known as metal) one that I wouldn't break. Last week I actually broke a very heavy duty ice cream scoop while trying to dip some extra hard ice cream.
They also got me a card and a pack of blue gum...which I found out about on the way home from town. Addie said she wanted some and Daddy wouldn't let her buy it...and Will blurted out that maybe "Mommy will share hers after she opens it tomorrow". :)
That night when we tucked the children in bed they both informed us they would get up early so they could give me their specially chosen gifts. We assured them that I could wait to get the gifts...just get plenty of sleep.
Nevertheless, both children's feet hit the floor about 7:00. They tiptoed down the steps and stood whispering at our door. Finally, they gave up ever seeing us wiggle and went to the living room to read books. But, trust me, they kept a close eye on us. At the first wiggle, they erupted in giggles and ran to the dining room to grab my gift.
I felt like a queen. I got to open my gift in bed.
Will accidentally-on-purpose blurted out that he hoped I liked the ice cream scoop cause he picked it out and it wasn't going to break this time cause it was glass and not plastic and it was fun choosing the ice cream scoop and Daddy thought it was a good idea and....
Addie perched her little self on my right foot and bounced and grinned.
It wouldn't have mattered had they chosen to buy cat food. I would have been thrilled.
Gifts opened and appropriately oohed and aahed over, we tumbled out of bed to ready for church.
After church we went to the park to meet the rest of my family for lunch. It was a chilly venture at first, but judging by the red nose I am now sporting, I'd say it ended up being beautiful and warm. I can hardly believe those two words finally made it into the same sentence. We've had beautiful and cold, and we've had rainy and warm, but we haven't really had the beautiful and warm.
It was a fun day. The children had a ball.
Will taught us all how to climb up the outside of a curly slide....
Clay nibbled on chips which were spilled on the ground....
and picked dandelions....
and just generally looked adorable....
The three girls took walks....
Brandon, Will, and Karter made sure that the soles of their shoes gripped well....
Jack learned the joys of swinging....
Darin rescued Jack from lofty heights....
And I apologize to the two boys whose pictures I failed to take.
After the park, my dear husband took us all to Dairy Clean where we feasted on Sundae's and blizzards.
Then we came home. And we went to the pasture to 'help' Jason with chores.
We watched the sheep....
and the cows....
We rocked babies....
and practiced our balance on a beam....
helped Daddy reel up the polybraid....
and took more pictures of the sheep and cows.
Then. We walked back home. We all took nice warm showers. We crawled into bed praising God for giving us such a wonderful day.
And we drifted off to sleep.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Thinking of Mothers
Specifically the birth mother's of our children.
All three of them.
Three children, four mothers.
Holidays kind of hit hard for me. Our children's birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc. Every single holiday I think that I wouldn't be where I am today with three children surrounding me day in and day out if it weren't for birth mothers.
I can't help but wonder if Mama Anna, Mama Tatyana, and Mama Larisa think of their children on those days. What mama wouldn't?
Our children have been so blessed. Each of them had a mother who loved them enough to carry them to full term rather than terminating the pregnancy. Each of our children had mother's who loved them enough to give them a chance at a better life than they felt they could offer a child.
We have been blessed. Each of our children has been chosen by God to be placed in our home. And, truly? It's not our children who are 'lucky', it is us. We are so blessed to have them in our lives.
If I could give Anna, Tatyana, and Larisa hugs right now, I would. Most definitely. Those three ladies gave our children life.
And, of course, God. Without HIM and His love for adoption, none of our children would be here with us today. Satan did his best to prevent all three of our children from coming to our home...but GOD WON!!!
To any birth moms out there who may read this....Thank You. The family who is now raising your child feels blessed beyond measure, I am sure. I am confident that birthdays and holidays may feel a little empty for you, but trust that your child is being well loved and cared for. Know that you are prayed for on a daily basis. You are loved from afar.
Our children love to hear all that we know about their Russia Mommies. I always thought that maybe it would be hard for me to listen to them discuss their Russian Moms (cause, after all, I am their mommy), but really? I love it!! Their Russian moms are such a huge part of their lives, even though we don't know them. Their Russian moms (and God) are the reason that our children are here today.
There's my Mother's day musings. Jumbled and rambling.
But the thoughts of my heart on the most lovely Mother's Day that I have ever had.
All three of them.
Three children, four mothers.
Holidays kind of hit hard for me. Our children's birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc. Every single holiday I think that I wouldn't be where I am today with three children surrounding me day in and day out if it weren't for birth mothers.
I can't help but wonder if Mama Anna, Mama Tatyana, and Mama Larisa think of their children on those days. What mama wouldn't?
Our children have been so blessed. Each of them had a mother who loved them enough to carry them to full term rather than terminating the pregnancy. Each of our children had mother's who loved them enough to give them a chance at a better life than they felt they could offer a child.
We have been blessed. Each of our children has been chosen by God to be placed in our home. And, truly? It's not our children who are 'lucky', it is us. We are so blessed to have them in our lives.
If I could give Anna, Tatyana, and Larisa hugs right now, I would. Most definitely. Those three ladies gave our children life.
And, of course, God. Without HIM and His love for adoption, none of our children would be here with us today. Satan did his best to prevent all three of our children from coming to our home...but GOD WON!!!
To any birth moms out there who may read this....Thank You. The family who is now raising your child feels blessed beyond measure, I am sure. I am confident that birthdays and holidays may feel a little empty for you, but trust that your child is being well loved and cared for. Know that you are prayed for on a daily basis. You are loved from afar.
Our children love to hear all that we know about their Russia Mommies. I always thought that maybe it would be hard for me to listen to them discuss their Russian Moms (cause, after all, I am their mommy), but really? I love it!! Their Russian moms are such a huge part of their lives, even though we don't know them. Their Russian moms (and God) are the reason that our children are here today.
There's my Mother's day musings. Jumbled and rambling.
But the thoughts of my heart on the most lovely Mother's Day that I have ever had.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
THAT day
It's the topic on many of our minds this week. Mother's Day.
However, I know that there are many ladies out there who are blocking out the holiday coming up. Like, as in, tomorrow.
I know because just 3 years ago I was right there with you. Just three short years ago I dreaded the day that was set aside for celebrating mothers. I didn't even want to think about the fact that multitudes of mothers were being celebrated...and there I was, sitting on the couch reading a book.
I didn't like it. It was probably my least favorite holiday. I remember those feelings like it was yesterday rather than three years ago.
Back then, I didn't know if God would EVER choose to answer my request for children with the answer that I wanted. I didn't think He was even hearing me. How could He be? I'd wanted a large family ever since I was a little girl. He knew that. Why wasn't He loaning us the children that I so desperately wanted?
I told myself that He knew best. I believed that with my whole heart, but the announcment of yet another friend who was going to have a baby would tear another little piece of my heart off.
These days things look a little different at our house. God DID hear my cries and He has blessed us with three little munchkins. There are toys littering the floors right now. All is quiet. Jason took the older two to watch Uncle B move his garage. Jack is snoozing on our bed.
The quiet is nice, but it reminds me of the years of quiet that we used to have around here. While friends were taking yet another baby home from the hospital, we were trying to find things to do to fill up our time. While other young mothers were lamenting the fact that they never seemed to find a minute to themselves, I was lamenting the fact that I had to spend yet another loooonnnnnngggg day at the sewing machine with nary an interruption. The quiet got really old back then.
Now? I go into the bathroom and shut both doors...just to sit on the floor for a little bit without having one or three children piling on top of me. It is only a matter of seconds before at least one child has their fingers wiggling under the door asking loudly, "Hey Mommy! Do you see my fingers?!"
I learned a lot during those years with no children in our home. So much. It was a valuable time, even though I didn't really think so at the time. I learned that there is more to life than my children. There are other things to discuss than the fact that Jack is being potty trained, Addie possibly will need glasses, Will is still being a turkey, and all three of them are just growing up too fast. There is more to life than MY homelife.
While we young moms have little choice but to focus our attention on our children, I believe that it is ever so important to remember those who would love to be in our shoes. Before we start to complain about something that one of our little Johnny's did yet again, think about how it would come across to that one who would love to have children who were climbing to the tip-top of the TV tower. Before we go on and on about Susie's latest achievement, think about how that will come across to the unmarried friend who would be delighted to brag on her daughter.
I certainly don't do as well as I should. I catch myself frequently going on and on about my family and all our issues to folks who want nothing more than to have a family with issues. It's an ongoing process.
Some days I miss those quiet days of old. Some days I wonder if being a mommy is all that it's cracked up to be.
But then. I remember. And I know that while, yes, some days seem to be no fun at all, I am immensely blessed.
And, while yes, Mother's Day is tomorrow, that doesn't mean that I will be set carefully on a tall chair while my children gather around and call me blessed. In fact, I know for a fact that won't happen. Rather, we'll get up in the morning, I'll fix them all breakfast. They'll ready themselves for church, I'll go around tucking in shirts, tying shoes, and combing hair. We'll race out the door and buckle into the car....and I'll look at Jason and say, "Do I look like I got myself ready to go? I certainly don't feel like it." He'll grin and assure me as he does every Sunday morning, "You look great." I'll believe him because by then it's too late to run back into the house to check for myself.
And. One more thing that I learned when we didn't have children. Actually I learned it after we'd already had our children for a while. Okay, I learned it while we didn't have children, but not really, cause I didn't do it.
To those who don't have children who have been loaned to you, children who live with you from day to day. Go. Visit that young mom who has five children five and under and is pregnant with another baby. Take your nieces and nephews for a day. Spoil them all rotten and then take them home to their mommy. :) Okay, not really.
But seriously. Invest some time in children's lives. I have a couple friends who are not married and guess who my children love the most?! They don't talk about my friends who have children of their own. They talk about my friends who have no children, the ones who will get down on the floor and push tractors. The ones who will push them on the swing for an hour if that's what they desire. The ones who have chosen to step out and become a blessing in children's lives.
And to them? I say "Happy Mother's Day". They truly have more children that they are discipling than I could ever hope to.
Happy Mother's Day to you all! Let's live this coming year for the Lord and truly become the mother's that God wants us to be.
However, I know that there are many ladies out there who are blocking out the holiday coming up. Like, as in, tomorrow.
I know because just 3 years ago I was right there with you. Just three short years ago I dreaded the day that was set aside for celebrating mothers. I didn't even want to think about the fact that multitudes of mothers were being celebrated...and there I was, sitting on the couch reading a book.
I didn't like it. It was probably my least favorite holiday. I remember those feelings like it was yesterday rather than three years ago.
Back then, I didn't know if God would EVER choose to answer my request for children with the answer that I wanted. I didn't think He was even hearing me. How could He be? I'd wanted a large family ever since I was a little girl. He knew that. Why wasn't He loaning us the children that I so desperately wanted?
I told myself that He knew best. I believed that with my whole heart, but the announcment of yet another friend who was going to have a baby would tear another little piece of my heart off.
These days things look a little different at our house. God DID hear my cries and He has blessed us with three little munchkins. There are toys littering the floors right now. All is quiet. Jason took the older two to watch Uncle B move his garage. Jack is snoozing on our bed.
The quiet is nice, but it reminds me of the years of quiet that we used to have around here. While friends were taking yet another baby home from the hospital, we were trying to find things to do to fill up our time. While other young mothers were lamenting the fact that they never seemed to find a minute to themselves, I was lamenting the fact that I had to spend yet another loooonnnnnngggg day at the sewing machine with nary an interruption. The quiet got really old back then.
Now? I go into the bathroom and shut both doors...just to sit on the floor for a little bit without having one or three children piling on top of me. It is only a matter of seconds before at least one child has their fingers wiggling under the door asking loudly, "Hey Mommy! Do you see my fingers?!"
I learned a lot during those years with no children in our home. So much. It was a valuable time, even though I didn't really think so at the time. I learned that there is more to life than my children. There are other things to discuss than the fact that Jack is being potty trained, Addie possibly will need glasses, Will is still being a turkey, and all three of them are just growing up too fast. There is more to life than MY homelife.
While we young moms have little choice but to focus our attention on our children, I believe that it is ever so important to remember those who would love to be in our shoes. Before we start to complain about something that one of our little Johnny's did yet again, think about how it would come across to that one who would love to have children who were climbing to the tip-top of the TV tower. Before we go on and on about Susie's latest achievement, think about how that will come across to the unmarried friend who would be delighted to brag on her daughter.
I certainly don't do as well as I should. I catch myself frequently going on and on about my family and all our issues to folks who want nothing more than to have a family with issues. It's an ongoing process.
Some days I miss those quiet days of old. Some days I wonder if being a mommy is all that it's cracked up to be.
But then. I remember. And I know that while, yes, some days seem to be no fun at all, I am immensely blessed.
And, while yes, Mother's Day is tomorrow, that doesn't mean that I will be set carefully on a tall chair while my children gather around and call me blessed. In fact, I know for a fact that won't happen. Rather, we'll get up in the morning, I'll fix them all breakfast. They'll ready themselves for church, I'll go around tucking in shirts, tying shoes, and combing hair. We'll race out the door and buckle into the car....and I'll look at Jason and say, "Do I look like I got myself ready to go? I certainly don't feel like it." He'll grin and assure me as he does every Sunday morning, "You look great." I'll believe him because by then it's too late to run back into the house to check for myself.
And. One more thing that I learned when we didn't have children. Actually I learned it after we'd already had our children for a while. Okay, I learned it while we didn't have children, but not really, cause I didn't do it.
To those who don't have children who have been loaned to you, children who live with you from day to day. Go. Visit that young mom who has five children five and under and is pregnant with another baby. Take your nieces and nephews for a day. Spoil them all rotten and then take them home to their mommy. :) Okay, not really.
But seriously. Invest some time in children's lives. I have a couple friends who are not married and guess who my children love the most?! They don't talk about my friends who have children of their own. They talk about my friends who have no children, the ones who will get down on the floor and push tractors. The ones who will push them on the swing for an hour if that's what they desire. The ones who have chosen to step out and become a blessing in children's lives.
And to them? I say "Happy Mother's Day". They truly have more children that they are discipling than I could ever hope to.
Happy Mother's Day to you all! Let's live this coming year for the Lord and truly become the mother's that God wants us to be.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Home School
The year is nearly over for this home school mom.
Hallelujah.
Maybe it's been my attitude that made this school year not the most enjoyable. Maybe it's been the attitude of my little girl (which was likely a direct result of my attitude). Maybe it's been....
I don't know what it's been, but I'm so very thankful to announce that we have a mere four weeks til this school year is over.
Over.
Except I know that it's not really over. Every mom is a home school mom even if she doesn't use books. Every mom teaches her children life long skills even if they head out the door to school every morning.
Anyway.
We're almost done. School here lately ALMOST has me wishing that we weren't quite done yet. Almost, but not quite.
Addie has been doing absolutely great. She loves to see what the lesson is for the day. She loves to pull out her pencil, sharpen it up, and scrawl her name at the top of the page. She loves to read the little stories that she reads every Friday. "Sam hit the ball. See Sam run. Sam can run fast."
When I think back to how school started at the beginning of the year, I about cry. Nearly every day she was in tears because she just couldn't do it (so she said). Several days she sat at her desk all day, literally, because she declared she wasn't going to do her work, and I declared she WAS going to.
It was pretty much a battle of the wills. She just about won.
I declared to Jason several times that I was done. And I would be for about a week. Then I'd start feeling bad about my sweet little girl not getting her education and back to the books we would go. A month later, we'd do the same thing.
The five week trip to Russia seemed to be the turning point. We didn't do school at all in the couple weeks before we left home and only did two weeks worth the whole time we were in Russia. Til we finally got back into the daily school routine, she was begging to do three or more lessons a day. I had to hold her back.
Now? She is able to recognize all the letters and can even read simple stories. She knows most of her colors (I know, she's six so she should know them, but you will never know what a huge feat that was. We started the color learning thing when we first brought them home in 2008 and she flat-out was not interested in learning that. There was far too much else to learn at that point.). When she first started in kindergarten last fall she only knew a few colors. Blue and red and sometimes, pink.
She knows many of her numbers, though we still get lots of laughs at her expense. Just the other day she was trying to tell me what the number '22' was. She sat there for several long moments staring at her paper like it was going to speak to her. She glanced at me with a sheepish grin. She looked back at her paper. She glanced at me. She looked back at her paper. Finally, I felt sorry enough for her to give her a hint....'Twen..' She burst out, "I KNEW IT. I KNEW it wasn't twoty-two! I just couldn't think what else it could be." :)
At least I have learned to laugh about it now. I admit, there are still times when the laughing is nowhere near the surface of my attitude. There are times when I could scream simply because she forgets that 'b' is not the same as 'd'. That 'm' is not the same as 'n'. That 'b', 'c', 'd', 'e', 'z', and 'g' don't all sound exactly the same. It gets frustrating, but then I have to think back to the beginning and remember just how far she has come in just eight short months.
What a miracle.
Hallelujah.
Maybe it's been my attitude that made this school year not the most enjoyable. Maybe it's been the attitude of my little girl (which was likely a direct result of my attitude). Maybe it's been....
I don't know what it's been, but I'm so very thankful to announce that we have a mere four weeks til this school year is over.
Over.
Except I know that it's not really over. Every mom is a home school mom even if she doesn't use books. Every mom teaches her children life long skills even if they head out the door to school every morning.
Anyway.
We're almost done. School here lately ALMOST has me wishing that we weren't quite done yet. Almost, but not quite.
Addie has been doing absolutely great. She loves to see what the lesson is for the day. She loves to pull out her pencil, sharpen it up, and scrawl her name at the top of the page. She loves to read the little stories that she reads every Friday. "Sam hit the ball. See Sam run. Sam can run fast."
When I think back to how school started at the beginning of the year, I about cry. Nearly every day she was in tears because she just couldn't do it (so she said). Several days she sat at her desk all day, literally, because she declared she wasn't going to do her work, and I declared she WAS going to.
It was pretty much a battle of the wills. She just about won.
I declared to Jason several times that I was done. And I would be for about a week. Then I'd start feeling bad about my sweet little girl not getting her education and back to the books we would go. A month later, we'd do the same thing.
The five week trip to Russia seemed to be the turning point. We didn't do school at all in the couple weeks before we left home and only did two weeks worth the whole time we were in Russia. Til we finally got back into the daily school routine, she was begging to do three or more lessons a day. I had to hold her back.
Now? She is able to recognize all the letters and can even read simple stories. She knows most of her colors (I know, she's six so she should know them, but you will never know what a huge feat that was. We started the color learning thing when we first brought them home in 2008 and she flat-out was not interested in learning that. There was far too much else to learn at that point.). When she first started in kindergarten last fall she only knew a few colors. Blue and red and sometimes, pink.
She knows many of her numbers, though we still get lots of laughs at her expense. Just the other day she was trying to tell me what the number '22' was. She sat there for several long moments staring at her paper like it was going to speak to her. She glanced at me with a sheepish grin. She looked back at her paper. She glanced at me. She looked back at her paper. Finally, I felt sorry enough for her to give her a hint....'Twen..' She burst out, "I KNEW IT. I KNEW it wasn't twoty-two! I just couldn't think what else it could be." :)
At least I have learned to laugh about it now. I admit, there are still times when the laughing is nowhere near the surface of my attitude. There are times when I could scream simply because she forgets that 'b' is not the same as 'd'. That 'm' is not the same as 'n'. That 'b', 'c', 'd', 'e', 'z', and 'g' don't all sound exactly the same. It gets frustrating, but then I have to think back to the beginning and remember just how far she has come in just eight short months.
What a miracle.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Fears
Everyone has them. Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.
I'm not that scared of the dark, though you likely wouldn't believe that if you ever watched me get the mail after dark. I can walk ever so leisurely to the mailbox, but turning around to come back to the house? You have never seen anyone run so fast.
Did I just admit that on a public blog?
I'm really not scared of thunderstorms, but neither do I exactly like them. It's not the thunderstorm itself, it's the tornados that can come along with the storm. And no. To answer your question I have never experienced a tornado.
I'm really not scared of rats and mice. Sure, they're disgusging and I better never find them in my house, but they don't really scare me. Just gross me out.
I'm not scared of spiders. Truly, I'm not. Ask Will. He calls for me every time he sees one to get me to come squish it. However, if Jason is home, I am the one calling for him to come squish the disgusting little creatures.
I'm not scared of water, though I don't really enjoy doing water related things. Perhaps that's because I don't know how to swim.
However, there is one thing that I guess you could say that I am scared of. The one thing that used to make me count pages in my science book to see where we would be learning about these creatures. I would then take a sticky note and, through my squinted eyes, place the paper over the pictures so I wouldn't have to look at them.
Snakes. Just seeing that word typed there sends shivers up and down my spine and made me pick up my feet to place them on my chair.
I think my fear of them started back in first or second grade. One balmy day my whole grade headed into the library to listen to some fella talk about something. I don't even remember what he was talking about. What I do remember is seeing the five gallon orange jug sitting on the table beside him. The label on the jug said 'lemonade'. At the end of the talk the man asked us who all liked lemonade. Of course, we all did. He opened the lid of the jug and pulled out his pet snake...who was named lemonade.
To this day, I don't care for lemonade. It just makes me think of that snake and the terror I felt when that man carried him around for us to touch.
Seriously. The creepy things terrify me.
I live at the wrong place. Make that, I've lived at the wrong house my whole 7 years and nine months of married life.
Both houses that we've lived at have an abundance of snakes. Perhaps God is trying to get me to conquer my fears. If so, it's slowly working.
Granted, I don't believe that snakes will ever be my favorite thing. I don't believe that I will ever see one without jumping.
But. I'm getting used to them.
Soon after we were married I was mowing the yard. I was doing pretty good, singing and mowing, when I rounded a corner and there was a snake lying in my path. I decided to be brave. I kept on going...until the nasty thing reared up on it's hind legs and stuck his tongue out at me. I can still picture it. You didn't know that snakes had hind legs? I'm sure this one did. He was huge. Like a foot long.
You have never seen a girl and a mower move so fast. I had bare feet and the last thing I wanted was that snake getting my toes. The mower and I ended up out in the middle of the yard. We left a wide berth around the venomous little creature and parked the mower in front of the garage. There the mower sat until my dear husband came home at the end of the day. At that point, I informed him that I would not be mowing again until that snake was gone. By then the snake had disappeared and poor Jason had to finish mowing the yard.
And. Oh yeah. We had a riding mower. Looking back, I don't think that snake was going to do too much damage to me. I likely could have gotten rid of him myself and never known it.
Not too long after the mower incident, I spotted a snake under a step at the back of our house. I called Jason and told him to expect to kill a snake immediately upon arrival home for lunch.
I kept my eye on that little fella and he waited, all curled up, on Jason's arrival. Then. Jason took a shovel to him. I'll never forget it. I didn't watch, but that day? I didn't eat any lunch. It was tator tot casserole. I still don't really care for tator tot casserole.
I found snake skins in my garden at that house.
I had a surprise encounter with one in our back porch at that house. Yes, he was inside my house. That time, I tried to be brave enough to put a bowl over the top of him (just til Jason got home and could take care of him) but he slithered away into a nearby closet. I kept my eye on him until Jason got home that night.
When we moved to this place, I hoped that there would be no snakes, but that hope was quickly dashed. Every summer I see many of them, and every summer I chase them with the lawn mower. I know, I know. They are good. They eat insects and stuff. But I don't like them and I feel no remorse at having admitted that I chase them down to mow over them.
Just for the record, they are faster in mid-summer than they are in the spring or fall. What a great little piece of information for you.
Anyway. I saw my first snake of the season last Saturday when I was mowing the yard. He startled me. My spine started crawling...kind of like it is right now just remembering it. And then I was really brave and just parked the mower over the top of him. (Yes, the blades were on) He slipped right out from under the mower and I didn't see him again.
I couldn't believe it. The mower didn't do it's job and now I have to watch out for the little guy every time I step out the door.
So what's the point of all these snake stories?
I have a question for you. Do you really think that God intends for us to like snakes? Do you think that He expects us to be really impressed with them? I know. He made snakes too, but for some reason I have to wonder if He wants us to love them.
Afer all, it was a serpant in the garden who tempted Eve.
For some reason every time I see a snake (after the back tingling and the little startled jump) I have to think that God put the slithery little creature in my path to remind me of Satan. To remind me that Satan is just like that snake, sneaky and slithery.
Satan can creep into my life quietly. SO quietly that sometimes I don't even realize that he is there.
I have to wonder if maybe it would be best that I don't get used to seeing snakes. If maybe it would be best if they keep reminding me of Satan. Satan is not someone that we need to get used to seeing in our lives. The mere name alone should be enough to send shivers up and down our spines.
Perhaps that is why God continues to place them in my path. It is His little reminder to me to keep my eyes peeled for Satan and his wily ways.
I dread the day one of my children sticks one in his pocket. I have heard of that happening.
And. I apologize that I have no pictures to show you of all my encounters with snakes. Actually, I don't apologize. I don't have a clue how folks can actually stand there long enough to take a picture of a snake. I admit. Even a picture of one makes my skin crawl.
I'm not that scared of the dark, though you likely wouldn't believe that if you ever watched me get the mail after dark. I can walk ever so leisurely to the mailbox, but turning around to come back to the house? You have never seen anyone run so fast.
Did I just admit that on a public blog?
I'm really not scared of thunderstorms, but neither do I exactly like them. It's not the thunderstorm itself, it's the tornados that can come along with the storm. And no. To answer your question I have never experienced a tornado.
I'm really not scared of rats and mice. Sure, they're disgusging and I better never find them in my house, but they don't really scare me. Just gross me out.
I'm not scared of spiders. Truly, I'm not. Ask Will. He calls for me every time he sees one to get me to come squish it. However, if Jason is home, I am the one calling for him to come squish the disgusting little creatures.
I'm not scared of water, though I don't really enjoy doing water related things. Perhaps that's because I don't know how to swim.
However, there is one thing that I guess you could say that I am scared of. The one thing that used to make me count pages in my science book to see where we would be learning about these creatures. I would then take a sticky note and, through my squinted eyes, place the paper over the pictures so I wouldn't have to look at them.
Snakes. Just seeing that word typed there sends shivers up and down my spine and made me pick up my feet to place them on my chair.
I think my fear of them started back in first or second grade. One balmy day my whole grade headed into the library to listen to some fella talk about something. I don't even remember what he was talking about. What I do remember is seeing the five gallon orange jug sitting on the table beside him. The label on the jug said 'lemonade'. At the end of the talk the man asked us who all liked lemonade. Of course, we all did. He opened the lid of the jug and pulled out his pet snake...who was named lemonade.
To this day, I don't care for lemonade. It just makes me think of that snake and the terror I felt when that man carried him around for us to touch.
Seriously. The creepy things terrify me.
I live at the wrong place. Make that, I've lived at the wrong house my whole 7 years and nine months of married life.
Both houses that we've lived at have an abundance of snakes. Perhaps God is trying to get me to conquer my fears. If so, it's slowly working.
Granted, I don't believe that snakes will ever be my favorite thing. I don't believe that I will ever see one without jumping.
But. I'm getting used to them.
Soon after we were married I was mowing the yard. I was doing pretty good, singing and mowing, when I rounded a corner and there was a snake lying in my path. I decided to be brave. I kept on going...until the nasty thing reared up on it's hind legs and stuck his tongue out at me. I can still picture it. You didn't know that snakes had hind legs? I'm sure this one did. He was huge. Like a foot long.
You have never seen a girl and a mower move so fast. I had bare feet and the last thing I wanted was that snake getting my toes. The mower and I ended up out in the middle of the yard. We left a wide berth around the venomous little creature and parked the mower in front of the garage. There the mower sat until my dear husband came home at the end of the day. At that point, I informed him that I would not be mowing again until that snake was gone. By then the snake had disappeared and poor Jason had to finish mowing the yard.
And. Oh yeah. We had a riding mower. Looking back, I don't think that snake was going to do too much damage to me. I likely could have gotten rid of him myself and never known it.
Not too long after the mower incident, I spotted a snake under a step at the back of our house. I called Jason and told him to expect to kill a snake immediately upon arrival home for lunch.
I kept my eye on that little fella and he waited, all curled up, on Jason's arrival. Then. Jason took a shovel to him. I'll never forget it. I didn't watch, but that day? I didn't eat any lunch. It was tator tot casserole. I still don't really care for tator tot casserole.
I found snake skins in my garden at that house.
I had a surprise encounter with one in our back porch at that house. Yes, he was inside my house. That time, I tried to be brave enough to put a bowl over the top of him (just til Jason got home and could take care of him) but he slithered away into a nearby closet. I kept my eye on him until Jason got home that night.
When we moved to this place, I hoped that there would be no snakes, but that hope was quickly dashed. Every summer I see many of them, and every summer I chase them with the lawn mower. I know, I know. They are good. They eat insects and stuff. But I don't like them and I feel no remorse at having admitted that I chase them down to mow over them.
Just for the record, they are faster in mid-summer than they are in the spring or fall. What a great little piece of information for you.
Anyway. I saw my first snake of the season last Saturday when I was mowing the yard. He startled me. My spine started crawling...kind of like it is right now just remembering it. And then I was really brave and just parked the mower over the top of him. (Yes, the blades were on) He slipped right out from under the mower and I didn't see him again.
I couldn't believe it. The mower didn't do it's job and now I have to watch out for the little guy every time I step out the door.
So what's the point of all these snake stories?
I have a question for you. Do you really think that God intends for us to like snakes? Do you think that He expects us to be really impressed with them? I know. He made snakes too, but for some reason I have to wonder if He wants us to love them.
Afer all, it was a serpant in the garden who tempted Eve.
For some reason every time I see a snake (after the back tingling and the little startled jump) I have to think that God put the slithery little creature in my path to remind me of Satan. To remind me that Satan is just like that snake, sneaky and slithery.
Satan can creep into my life quietly. SO quietly that sometimes I don't even realize that he is there.
I have to wonder if maybe it would be best that I don't get used to seeing snakes. If maybe it would be best if they keep reminding me of Satan. Satan is not someone that we need to get used to seeing in our lives. The mere name alone should be enough to send shivers up and down our spines.
Perhaps that is why God continues to place them in my path. It is His little reminder to me to keep my eyes peeled for Satan and his wily ways.
I dread the day one of my children sticks one in his pocket. I have heard of that happening.
And. I apologize that I have no pictures to show you of all my encounters with snakes. Actually, I don't apologize. I don't have a clue how folks can actually stand there long enough to take a picture of a snake. I admit. Even a picture of one makes my skin crawl.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Because I Promised
Last night we had a rockin' house. Almost literally, I think.
We had seven children 12 and under for just a couple hours. That was always my dream. The at least six children thing. I'm starting to reconsider. :)
Not really. I still think that six children would be great...even more if that is what God wants for our family. Only God knows if that will ever happen.
Anyway. We had seven children. I suspect that our neighbors could see the sides of our house bulging with all the activity. If not, they could at least detect a difference in the noise level.
Four of my nieces and nephews were here from 6-9. Was it ever a mad house.
Of course, the first thing the girls did was head directly for the dress up box. First they came down dressed as brides. With babies. Heading for church.
Then it was a clown and a princess with a short dress.
Then it was a farmer and a race car mechanic.
The boys joined in too, for a while, with the army outfits being the top pick for them.
And....one of them put on a couple dresses, but wasn't overly excited about having a picture taken. I snapped a couple anyway. He'd have been disappointed had I not.
But for the most part, the boys just farmed.
Of course, the evening had to include a tea party. As Krista said, "But Aunt Jody, we ALWAYS have a tea party when we come to your house." How could I say no?
The tea party was not actually a tea party though. We served hot chocolate with marshmellows (or maybe that should read marshmellows with some hot chocolate) and fig newtons (that desperately needed to be eaten, but don't tell them that).
The littlest was thoroughly spoiled by the oldest as at the slightest whimper Darin would rush to his rescue.
The evening was finished off with games. Darin, Justin, Jason & I played Settlers while the little four squabbled their way through Hi-Ho Cheerios, Candy Land, and Chutes and Ladders. They finally were asked to go sit on the couch to read books.
Peaceful.
It was a fun evening. Darin and Justin were already planning that next Sunday they are going to bring their mom and dad back to play Settlers. Will and Brandon were plotting how they could get together to play again soon. Krista and Addie were too busy giggling and screeching to get much planning done.
We can't wait til they come back again!! And maybe next time the other four cousins should join the fun.... :) (That was for you, Amber.)
And this post was for you, Krista!!!
We had seven children 12 and under for just a couple hours. That was always my dream. The at least six children thing. I'm starting to reconsider. :)
Not really. I still think that six children would be great...even more if that is what God wants for our family. Only God knows if that will ever happen.
Anyway. We had seven children. I suspect that our neighbors could see the sides of our house bulging with all the activity. If not, they could at least detect a difference in the noise level.
Four of my nieces and nephews were here from 6-9. Was it ever a mad house.
Of course, the first thing the girls did was head directly for the dress up box. First they came down dressed as brides. With babies. Heading for church.
Then it was a clown and a princess with a short dress.
Then it was a farmer and a race car mechanic.
The boys joined in too, for a while, with the army outfits being the top pick for them.
And....one of them put on a couple dresses, but wasn't overly excited about having a picture taken. I snapped a couple anyway. He'd have been disappointed had I not.
But for the most part, the boys just farmed.
Of course, the evening had to include a tea party. As Krista said, "But Aunt Jody, we ALWAYS have a tea party when we come to your house." How could I say no?
The tea party was not actually a tea party though. We served hot chocolate with marshmellows (or maybe that should read marshmellows with some hot chocolate) and fig newtons (that desperately needed to be eaten, but don't tell them that).
The littlest was thoroughly spoiled by the oldest as at the slightest whimper Darin would rush to his rescue.
The evening was finished off with games. Darin, Justin, Jason & I played Settlers while the little four squabbled their way through Hi-Ho Cheerios, Candy Land, and Chutes and Ladders. They finally were asked to go sit on the couch to read books.
Peaceful.
It was a fun evening. Darin and Justin were already planning that next Sunday they are going to bring their mom and dad back to play Settlers. Will and Brandon were plotting how they could get together to play again soon. Krista and Addie were too busy giggling and screeching to get much planning done.
We can't wait til they come back again!! And maybe next time the other four cousins should join the fun.... :) (That was for you, Amber.)
And this post was for you, Krista!!!
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