Had you told me eight and a half years ago how our married life would play out, I wouldn't have believed you.
Had you told me that we would be deemed infertile a mere 1 1/2 years after our wedding I wouldn't have believed you.
Had you told me that five years after we married we would finally have our longed for children I wouldn't have believed you.
Had you told me that all three of our munchkins would come from the other side of the world I wouldn't have believed you.
Had you told me that eight years and four months after we married we would be reeling at the news of a pregnancy I wouldn't have believed you.
God has His ways of performing miracles.
We have received the blessing of adoption...a blessing that I am confident we would never have experienced had we been able to build our family in the manner that is considered 'normal'.
We have received three children whom I am confident we would have never known had we been permitted to grow our family in the manner that is considered 'normal'.
Our normal has been adoption for the past four years. Our normal has been to do boat-loads of paperwork in order to receive our child. Our normal has been to provide fingerprints multiple times. Our normal has been to bring home children who are walking and on the verge of talking...if not already talking. Our normal has been to spend enormous amounts of money and take long trips to a foreign country. Our normal has been to discuss biological families while trying to mold our children into our family. Our normal has been to expect our children to come home with an undisclosed disease or problem....though not one of them has. Our normal has been to meet families from around the world who are all experiencing the same 'normal' as we have.
Our normal is changing.
Bigtime.
Our new normal will include a newborn baby who won't have Hep B or Hep C or syphilis or HIV.
Our new normal has included a tad bit of 'morning sickness'...though it seemed to be at it's worst about 2:00AM. That's improved drastically, though some days are still a little...uncomfortable. Not one speck of throwing up, though, for which we are extremely greatful.
Our new normal has included a mommy who is exhausted and not too excited about the vast majority of foods.
Our new normal is including a growing tummy.
And weight gain.
And extremely excited children.
Of course, they were extremely excited a year ago when we brought home our 'baby'...but this is a little different.
And a daddy and mommy who are starting to allow themselves to be excited. It's not that we haven't been, but it's all a little unreal. To say the least. We had given up our dream of having miniature us's running around here. We had thrown ourselves into the world of adoption...and love it. We were beyond shocked when the home tests came back positive.
Yes. I said tests. Plural. :) I don't remember if I did four or five of them....but even then it was hard to believe. We had an ultrasound completed at seven weeks just to see if it was really real.
It was.
Heartbeats don't lie.
Lord willing, sometime the end of July/beginning of August we hope to welcome our first baby into our home. Addie's prayers have been answered.
And so have ours....even if we had actually stopped praying for this miracle years ago.
I used to laugh at couples who proclaimed a pregnancy a surprise. Seriously? How can a pregnancy be a surprise?! You are married, correct?! However, this has been a hulogous surprise. As in once our teeth were picked up off the floor and replaced into our mouths, we still had to push our jaws shut. It was a surprise.
Only God could orchestrate something like this. Only God would allow the term 'infertile' to be told to a couple, only to grin 7 1/2 years later when suddenly the 'infertility' is no longer an issue...with no medical treatment whatsoever.
While we're praising HIM for the miracle of a baby, we're still a little nervous. Yes, the most critical time is past according to the medical world. Yes, everything appears to be progressing just as it should.
But. The doubts linger. The unreality of the circumstances causes us to temper our excitment a little. Silly, perhaps. But the truth.
And so, we plug on. Will and I calling the baby George as I'm sure it's a boy, Jason and Addie calling the baby Sally as they're sure it's a girl. And Jack hanging out in total oblivion.
I have to admit now, that the 'Oops' post was the truth, though not perhaps the whole truth. While dealing with multiple weekend plans, helping Will regain trust and love for his mommy, etc., we were also dealing with a sick mommy....an exhausted mommy....an 'if-her-head-wasn't-attached-she'd-lose-it mommy.
Addie was quite concerned. She was making plans for the surgery that she was sure I had to have...why else would mommy be acting so funny. She was making a huge effort to help me fix meals and clean up the house. She was worried sick, nearly.
We just told her the real reason last week and you've never in your life seen a happier little girl. :) Her dream is coming true.
And so is mine. For the first time ever, I get to have the privelege of being a birth mom. For the first time ever I am experiencing what our children's birth mom's went through to give them life. For the first time ever.....
What a blessing. What a miracle.
Life With Littles
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Five Days Late
Where is my head?
Last Saturday marked the day that Jack Nickolay joined our family. One whole year.
I can't believe it.
Where has the past year gone?
I guess when you spend five weeks in Russia, come home to a different house, and have to 'move' back into your own several weeks later.... That took up two months of our year. And then it was the unpacking boxes, and the getting used to another munchkin around here, and the field work, and the......
I guess that is where the time went.
Thankfully, Jack is only two. This year I nearly forgot that his family day was approaching. Friday Mom took Addie to co-op for Grandparents day and I called her on her way to ask if she could pick up a gift for him.
Tons of thought went into that gift. Jason suggested a ball...so we spent a whole $.99 to purchase him a ball. I guess Mom actually paid for it....I still haven't paid her back. He was beyond thrilled, so I guess that's all that matters.
His cake consisted of an 8x8 cake in an aluminum pan that was pulled from the freezer. On Monday. Oops. Saturday we totally forgot about it so we didn't actually celebrate til Monday evening. As I said, good thing he's only two.
Due to the lack of planning he had an undecorated cake with one lonely yellow candle jabbed into the middle. He was still intrigued, but I don't think that's a picture that will make it into the next post placement report. :)
He didn't care a stitch that we totally forgot, but Addie and Will thought it was horrid. I think when their days roll around in June/July I'd better be a tad bit more prepared. After all, their family day is a second birthday. Who wouldn't want it to be remembered?!
Sweet little Jack has done a lot of changing. His once round face has lost some of its plumpness and he's starting to look like a big boy...which he calls himself frequently. "Bi Boy, Mom." Mainly used when he remembers to tell me that he needs to go potty and makes it before wetting himself.
Some days I wish he were still in diapers. Such as the last two times that we went to town and he wet himself to the point that it was dripping off the cart. Lovely. Nothing like children to bring you down a notch or two. Or ten.
He still doesn't talk. Not much anyway. I'm starting to think that it's not all bad as I don't know how I'll handle three children talking non-stop. If there could be one thing that would qualify as driving me nuts, it would most definitely be the constant chatter. I can handle the singing, I can handle the silly noises (most of the time), but the chatter? Do you really NEED to talk nonstop while doing the dishes? Really? To nobody? I don't understand. At all. I could easily go a whole day without saying one single word....and here we have two children who can't go three minutes without jabbering. Learning patience.
Anyway. He does talk some. He says potty, Will, Daddy, Mom, bye, hi, oh deah, yuck, I lo oo, doo night, gook (look), and a few more consistently. There's more that he'll repeat with some prodding...but really? He just doesn't want to talk. Aparently he believes it's overrated. Too bad his siblings don't share that view. At least a little.
Still growing. Currently in 2T clothes, but is starting to wear some 3T pants and shirts. I can't believe our baby is getting so big.
Snow is not his favorite thing in the world. He loves to go outside. He hates to get cold. If there is snow on the ground (a big IF these days) he'll last about 10 minutes. If there's mud and puddles (much more common this winter) he lasts about 20 minutes. He's ready for spring.
He can throw a fit with the best of them. Complete with rolling on the floor, screaming and hitting the floor. It's so cute. Or not.
He absolutely loves to tag along with Daddy and Will. So far the only thing that he won't do that Will has tried to convince him to do is climb up the TV tower. I think that's a good thing. Yesterday Will was up level with the garage roof trying to convince Jack to follow him up. Jack replied with a firm, "MO" (no), and Will was disturbed. At what point is a mom allowed to spaz out?!
That's our Jack. Lively, opinionated, cuddly, obnoxious little boy.
We're so thankful that God worked in the hearts of the judge and prosecutor on our behalf. We're so thankful that his mom, Larisa, chose to give him life. We're so thankful that God placed another adoption on our hearts even when we weren't sure it was the best plan.
Last Saturday marked the day that Jack Nickolay joined our family. One whole year.
I can't believe it.
Where has the past year gone?
I guess when you spend five weeks in Russia, come home to a different house, and have to 'move' back into your own several weeks later.... That took up two months of our year. And then it was the unpacking boxes, and the getting used to another munchkin around here, and the field work, and the......
I guess that is where the time went.
Thankfully, Jack is only two. This year I nearly forgot that his family day was approaching. Friday Mom took Addie to co-op for Grandparents day and I called her on her way to ask if she could pick up a gift for him.
Tons of thought went into that gift. Jason suggested a ball...so we spent a whole $.99 to purchase him a ball. I guess Mom actually paid for it....I still haven't paid her back. He was beyond thrilled, so I guess that's all that matters.
His cake consisted of an 8x8 cake in an aluminum pan that was pulled from the freezer. On Monday. Oops. Saturday we totally forgot about it so we didn't actually celebrate til Monday evening. As I said, good thing he's only two.
Due to the lack of planning he had an undecorated cake with one lonely yellow candle jabbed into the middle. He was still intrigued, but I don't think that's a picture that will make it into the next post placement report. :)
He didn't care a stitch that we totally forgot, but Addie and Will thought it was horrid. I think when their days roll around in June/July I'd better be a tad bit more prepared. After all, their family day is a second birthday. Who wouldn't want it to be remembered?!
Sweet little Jack has done a lot of changing. His once round face has lost some of its plumpness and he's starting to look like a big boy...which he calls himself frequently. "Bi Boy, Mom." Mainly used when he remembers to tell me that he needs to go potty and makes it before wetting himself.
Some days I wish he were still in diapers. Such as the last two times that we went to town and he wet himself to the point that it was dripping off the cart. Lovely. Nothing like children to bring you down a notch or two. Or ten.
He still doesn't talk. Not much anyway. I'm starting to think that it's not all bad as I don't know how I'll handle three children talking non-stop. If there could be one thing that would qualify as driving me nuts, it would most definitely be the constant chatter. I can handle the singing, I can handle the silly noises (most of the time), but the chatter? Do you really NEED to talk nonstop while doing the dishes? Really? To nobody? I don't understand. At all. I could easily go a whole day without saying one single word....and here we have two children who can't go three minutes without jabbering. Learning patience.
Anyway. He does talk some. He says potty, Will, Daddy, Mom, bye, hi, oh deah, yuck, I lo oo, doo night, gook (look), and a few more consistently. There's more that he'll repeat with some prodding...but really? He just doesn't want to talk. Aparently he believes it's overrated. Too bad his siblings don't share that view. At least a little.
Still growing. Currently in 2T clothes, but is starting to wear some 3T pants and shirts. I can't believe our baby is getting so big.
Snow is not his favorite thing in the world. He loves to go outside. He hates to get cold. If there is snow on the ground (a big IF these days) he'll last about 10 minutes. If there's mud and puddles (much more common this winter) he lasts about 20 minutes. He's ready for spring.
He can throw a fit with the best of them. Complete with rolling on the floor, screaming and hitting the floor. It's so cute. Or not.
He absolutely loves to tag along with Daddy and Will. So far the only thing that he won't do that Will has tried to convince him to do is climb up the TV tower. I think that's a good thing. Yesterday Will was up level with the garage roof trying to convince Jack to follow him up. Jack replied with a firm, "MO" (no), and Will was disturbed. At what point is a mom allowed to spaz out?!
That's our Jack. Lively, opinionated, cuddly, obnoxious little boy.
We're so thankful that God worked in the hearts of the judge and prosecutor on our behalf. We're so thankful that his mom, Larisa, chose to give him life. We're so thankful that God placed another adoption on our hearts even when we weren't sure it was the best plan.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Puppies
Please tell me you're interested in at least one of these adorable little puppies!!
They're cute. They're fluffy. And they won't be any taller than your two year old toddler when they're full grown. Well, not much, if any.
But for now? They're little and roly-poly.
Surely you would like one for your homestead.
Give us a call..or send us an e-mail..or leave a note in the comments...937-459-0618...jason.l.garber@gmail.com...
It's just that simple.
Contact us quickly!!! One female and four males left....
They're cute. They're fluffy. And they won't be any taller than your two year old toddler when they're full grown. Well, not much, if any.
But for now? They're little and roly-poly.
Surely you would like one for your homestead.
Give us a call..or send us an e-mail..or leave a note in the comments...937-459-0618...jason.l.garber@gmail.com...
It's just that simple.
Contact us quickly!!! One female and four males left....
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Oops
I can't believe I have neglected this thing for nearly an entire month. That's pathetic.
I offer no excuses...other than the fact that it's been busy around here.
I guess that could qualify as an excuse.
Today I am sitting at the desk, nibbling on M&M's, sewing, trying to clean up the clutter of cut-out yet still-unsown items floating around this little room. The M&M's are my go-juice. I enjoy sewing, but after seeing these few projects sitting here for six weeks, the enthusiasm has long since flown. Thus the M&M's. Plus, I can find most any excuse to polish off a bag of them.
I should be doing bookwork. Really. When I sat down at the computer to catch up on it about a month ago, I realized that I was nearly one year behind. Yep. You read that correctly. Not one week. Not one month. One year. It's been a long process. The checkbook balanced....well, good enough for me anyway. I think it was about $1.36 off, or something close anyway. Not enough to spend days trying to find the year old mistake.
The rest of the stuff is nearly caught up, but I have to admit that there is still a pile perched on the table that must be tended to sometime in the near future. Don't worry, we still have room to eat our daily meals without accidentally stuffing the March credit card statment into our mouths.
I have excuses for the paperwork not being tended to as well. Remember a year ago when we were packing for a four week trip to the grand land of Russia (we actually left one year ago on Friday)? And then remember how court didn't go as planned and we ended up staying in Russia for five weeks? And then remember how our house flooded and we couldn't even live in our house for two weeks after getting home and we then had to unpack boxes and whatnot for several weeks after that? That's my excuse. Til life finally calmed down enough for me to consider sitting at the computer entering receipts, it was already March. And then the weather turned nice and who wanted to sit at the desk? And then summer came and I was busy. And then fall arrived and when I actually had the time, it was too depressing to even consider. So here I am. Yes, it's still depressing and yes, I wish now that I had been a little more diligent, but it's a little late for that! Now I have no choice. After all, a new year is upon us.
On top of the bookwork and the sewing, there have been Christmas gatherings. While those are tons of fun, they also take time. We're gone from home for three whole weekends (Friday night to Sunday night) and it takes me much of Friday to get things in shape to leave. Plus we MUST have snacks...and being the great procrastinator that I am, those typically wait til Friday to be made. So that was three weekends.
And then, there's the real kicker. Remember when a while back I mentioned that we were having some struggles with Will? It all started when we brought Jack home with us. Seriously. While in Russia last winter, he did pretty good, but right before we were leaving, Will asked when we were taking Jack back to the orphanage. Problem. He seriously could not stand that little shaver who moved in and stole his spot on Mommy's lap. The result has been a gradual dislike of Mommy that we finally decided must be turned around. It's been increasingly more clear that the main problem is the fact that he doesn't believe that Mommy can love Jack and him all at the same time. Face it, a two year old does take a little more hands on time than a five year old does. Perhaps I could have allayed some of our problems had I purposed to sit and hold him on a regular basis. Or had I purposed to spend some extra one on one time with him rather than playing with all three of them together. That's neither here nor there. The fact is that about a month ago we realized that we had some serious work to do. Something had to change. Something is just not quite right when a five year old comes down the steps with obvious plans to have a grouchy day. Five year olds are supposed to be carefree and happy! Plus, something is not right when a child wants nothing to do with his mom. Nothing. We called the therapist. We prayed. And we came up with a plan.
For the past few weeks, Will has had very few breaks from his mommy. Very few. And as a result his mommy has had very few breaks from Will. :) It's been good...at least after we made it through the first few days of screaming and hollering (him, not me). I've had to work extra hard at not getting frustrated when he deliberately defies me and he's had to work extra hard at breaking his habits of deliberately defying me. It's been rough. It's been exhausting. I've had to change the way I interact with him. Rather than telling him to go sweep the kitchen, he now gets a choice. Would you like to sweep the kitchen or dust the living room? It's working much better. Perhaps I'm the last mom around to figure out that choices work better than bossing, but I'm thankful to finally figure it out. Then it's his choice. No matter what option he chooses, something is getting done. No matter what option he chooses, he made the final choice...and for a strong willed child, he needs to feel like he made the call. It's not my nature to operate that way. I'd rather give orders and go on my way, but if I cared to win back my child's heart something had to give...
But. We're finally getting somewhere. Starting sometime the end of last wek he started giving me impulsive hugs and saying...."I like to be with you, Mommy." He's started asking to sit on my lap again. He's started being happy a little more. He's started sleeping a little better at night...which in turn makes him a tad happier.
The only problem with all this is that we have two other children. Not that the two other children are a problem :), but the youngest one especially hasn't been too fond of his mommy giving his older brother so much attention. He really doesn't like it when Will is on my lap, but really doesn't like sitting on my lap himself...unless it's his idea. While he's been sleeping better at night (only waking and screaming a time or two each night) he's only taking about 45 minute naps (at the most) during the day. It's kind of like he simply doesn't want to miss out on a speck of mommy time that he can possibly snag. However, if you've ever had a two year old who doesn't take decent naps around your home, you know that it doesn't work out too well. By 6:00 every evening he's out of control hyper and really wants nothing to do with anything.
So that's been keeping me busy.
Sewing, eating M&M's, sitting much of the day and holding a child...or two..., doing bookwork, fixing breakfast, lunch, and supper, cleaning up the house, chasing a two year old, etc. That is my life. I have to admit that it was lovely to send Addie back to school this morning. While it's fun to have her home, having one more person around every day all day does add some extra dimensions.
While some days I think it seems like it would be really nice to hop in my car...er...van :)...and head off to an 8-5 job, in reality I know that I would dislike that immensely. Being a mom isn't always fun, being a homemaker isn't always fun....but it's what God has called me to do. And knowing that is what keeps me from playing hooky on mornings when I simply don't feel like I can face another day.
I offer no excuses...other than the fact that it's been busy around here.
I guess that could qualify as an excuse.
Today I am sitting at the desk, nibbling on M&M's, sewing, trying to clean up the clutter of cut-out yet still-unsown items floating around this little room. The M&M's are my go-juice. I enjoy sewing, but after seeing these few projects sitting here for six weeks, the enthusiasm has long since flown. Thus the M&M's. Plus, I can find most any excuse to polish off a bag of them.
I should be doing bookwork. Really. When I sat down at the computer to catch up on it about a month ago, I realized that I was nearly one year behind. Yep. You read that correctly. Not one week. Not one month. One year. It's been a long process. The checkbook balanced....well, good enough for me anyway. I think it was about $1.36 off, or something close anyway. Not enough to spend days trying to find the year old mistake.
The rest of the stuff is nearly caught up, but I have to admit that there is still a pile perched on the table that must be tended to sometime in the near future. Don't worry, we still have room to eat our daily meals without accidentally stuffing the March credit card statment into our mouths.
I have excuses for the paperwork not being tended to as well. Remember a year ago when we were packing for a four week trip to the grand land of Russia (we actually left one year ago on Friday)? And then remember how court didn't go as planned and we ended up staying in Russia for five weeks? And then remember how our house flooded and we couldn't even live in our house for two weeks after getting home and we then had to unpack boxes and whatnot for several weeks after that? That's my excuse. Til life finally calmed down enough for me to consider sitting at the computer entering receipts, it was already March. And then the weather turned nice and who wanted to sit at the desk? And then summer came and I was busy. And then fall arrived and when I actually had the time, it was too depressing to even consider. So here I am. Yes, it's still depressing and yes, I wish now that I had been a little more diligent, but it's a little late for that! Now I have no choice. After all, a new year is upon us.
On top of the bookwork and the sewing, there have been Christmas gatherings. While those are tons of fun, they also take time. We're gone from home for three whole weekends (Friday night to Sunday night) and it takes me much of Friday to get things in shape to leave. Plus we MUST have snacks...and being the great procrastinator that I am, those typically wait til Friday to be made. So that was three weekends.
And then, there's the real kicker. Remember when a while back I mentioned that we were having some struggles with Will? It all started when we brought Jack home with us. Seriously. While in Russia last winter, he did pretty good, but right before we were leaving, Will asked when we were taking Jack back to the orphanage. Problem. He seriously could not stand that little shaver who moved in and stole his spot on Mommy's lap. The result has been a gradual dislike of Mommy that we finally decided must be turned around. It's been increasingly more clear that the main problem is the fact that he doesn't believe that Mommy can love Jack and him all at the same time. Face it, a two year old does take a little more hands on time than a five year old does. Perhaps I could have allayed some of our problems had I purposed to sit and hold him on a regular basis. Or had I purposed to spend some extra one on one time with him rather than playing with all three of them together. That's neither here nor there. The fact is that about a month ago we realized that we had some serious work to do. Something had to change. Something is just not quite right when a five year old comes down the steps with obvious plans to have a grouchy day. Five year olds are supposed to be carefree and happy! Plus, something is not right when a child wants nothing to do with his mom. Nothing. We called the therapist. We prayed. And we came up with a plan.
For the past few weeks, Will has had very few breaks from his mommy. Very few. And as a result his mommy has had very few breaks from Will. :) It's been good...at least after we made it through the first few days of screaming and hollering (him, not me). I've had to work extra hard at not getting frustrated when he deliberately defies me and he's had to work extra hard at breaking his habits of deliberately defying me. It's been rough. It's been exhausting. I've had to change the way I interact with him. Rather than telling him to go sweep the kitchen, he now gets a choice. Would you like to sweep the kitchen or dust the living room? It's working much better. Perhaps I'm the last mom around to figure out that choices work better than bossing, but I'm thankful to finally figure it out. Then it's his choice. No matter what option he chooses, something is getting done. No matter what option he chooses, he made the final choice...and for a strong willed child, he needs to feel like he made the call. It's not my nature to operate that way. I'd rather give orders and go on my way, but if I cared to win back my child's heart something had to give...
But. We're finally getting somewhere. Starting sometime the end of last wek he started giving me impulsive hugs and saying...."I like to be with you, Mommy." He's started asking to sit on my lap again. He's started being happy a little more. He's started sleeping a little better at night...which in turn makes him a tad happier.
The only problem with all this is that we have two other children. Not that the two other children are a problem :), but the youngest one especially hasn't been too fond of his mommy giving his older brother so much attention. He really doesn't like it when Will is on my lap, but really doesn't like sitting on my lap himself...unless it's his idea. While he's been sleeping better at night (only waking and screaming a time or two each night) he's only taking about 45 minute naps (at the most) during the day. It's kind of like he simply doesn't want to miss out on a speck of mommy time that he can possibly snag. However, if you've ever had a two year old who doesn't take decent naps around your home, you know that it doesn't work out too well. By 6:00 every evening he's out of control hyper and really wants nothing to do with anything.
So that's been keeping me busy.
Sewing, eating M&M's, sitting much of the day and holding a child...or two..., doing bookwork, fixing breakfast, lunch, and supper, cleaning up the house, chasing a two year old, etc. That is my life. I have to admit that it was lovely to send Addie back to school this morning. While it's fun to have her home, having one more person around every day all day does add some extra dimensions.
While some days I think it seems like it would be really nice to hop in my car...er...van :)...and head off to an 8-5 job, in reality I know that I would dislike that immensely. Being a mom isn't always fun, being a homemaker isn't always fun....but it's what God has called me to do. And knowing that is what keeps me from playing hooky on mornings when I simply don't feel like I can face another day.
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