What Is Normal?

Have you ever thought about that?

What exactly is normal? Who sets the standard for normal?

I sometimes catch myself saying or thinking that ours is not a normal family. We didn't become a family in the traditional, normal way.

Normal for me is that my 'morning sickness' comes in the form of well water tests (that sometimes fail and have to be repeated), home study visits, blood draws, and large checks. My 'morning sickness' lasts the whole nine months, if you care to say it that way.

Normal for me is a 'pregnancy' that can take years. I'll never forget the time on our first adoption journey when my aunt sent me an e-mail that said, "If you were an elephant, you would be having your baby now!!! It's been two years...." Thank you, Aunt. :) Normal could be only 12 months, but as we have proven it can take three years or longer.

Normal for me is dealing with newborn sleep behaviors in, currently, a 21 month old. Before it was newborn sleep issues in a three year old. They don't wake up crying because they are hungry, they wake up crying because they are scared that you won't be there when they wake up. It'd be easier to just feed them, change a diaper, and stick them back in bed....but instead we get to reassure them that we love them and we are going nowhere. Not a big deal....but a sad one.

Normal for me is talking about birth mommy's who live in far-away lands. It's talking about the times that we met our children for the first time. It's looking through pictures that bring back some bad memories, memories that I wish so badly I could erase from little minds...but I know that only God can do that.

Normal for me is gauging my children's achievements to other people's children's achievements. I tend to forget that our children come to our family months and sometimes years younger (socially, mentally, and physically) than what their birth certificate states. I forget that our daughter came to us a 3 1/2 year old on an eighteen month old level. I forget that in the nearly three years that she's been in our home she has had so very much to learn. Our children have had to learn what it means to have a family. They have had to learn a whole new language. They have had to learn how to be children. They have had to learn how to trust an adult. It's so not fair of me to compare my children to yours. In fact, it's not even right. My children, just like yours, were made by God in His image. They are perfect just as they are.

Normal for me is appearing a little dense when at a new doctor's office. I always hope that they will simply accept what the form that I filled out says. Instead, they usually ask some odd question like, "What was the birth weight of your daughter?" To which I reply, "I don't know." :) Think that makes a mother look a little dense?! Don't worry, I explain in quick order that my child was adopted and we don't have that kind of information. "Any heart issues in the family?" Yep, my grandpa...but that won't affect my children. "Any cancer?" Yep, lots of that...but that won't affect my children. It's odd to not know the answers to those simple questions. Something that we all take for granted.

Normal for me is listening to my children playing that they are going to the airport rather than to the hospital. They pack their bags, make sure they have their passports and lots of cash :), and fly to the determined country of the day. They stress about going to court to see the judge. They are elated when they go to pick up their chooldren at the ofinage. They come to me to show me their recently adopted children. Typically a boy and a girl...sometimes a couple of each. Then they hop in their airplane and fly back home where the babies are put to bed and they spend a whole lot of time unpacking all the bags that they packed.

Normal to me is having 'babies' who vary in age but have thus far all been walking. One talking. It's a crash course in toddler-hood and all the trials and joys that go along with that stage. None of the growing with the baby stuff...we jump in with both feet.

I love my normal. I wouldn't trade it for anything as I know that I wouldn't have our three children if my normal were as a normal persons normal is. Say that really fast three times.

Really, though. What is normal? I think that normal is however God made you. My normal isn't like your normal. Your normal is nothing like your sister's normal. Your sister's normal is a far cry from her cousin's normal.

God made us all different, yet all are created in His image. Sometimes it's so easy for me to look around and compare my life with my 'neighbor's' life. Way too easy. Maybe I'm the only one who does that, but I suspect not.

We're human. We all struggle with the 'normal' struggles....and one of them is comparing ourselves among ourselves.

I'm going to issue a challenge to myself. Self. Stop comparing my life to my neighbors life. Start being more content with where God has placed me. Start being thankful for the 'normal' that God has blessed me with.

Contentment. That, my friends, is a whole nother topic for a whole nother day.

So. What is the normal that God has blessed you with? Have you thanked Him for that normal today?!