Just a Little Info

To answer the questions that I received regarding the program we were involved in...

I honestly don't know the name of the ranch. I don't know the name of the program.

How's that for helpful?!

The name of the lady who runs the ranch is Nancy Thomas. We used her "Taming the Tiger While It's a Kitten" program with Addie back 3 1/2 years ago (used for small children who are out of control). We loved it. It totally transformed our little lady, though we're doing some of it all over again this week! Her therapy sessions brought out some past hurts that are now being dealt with.

Yes. It's been a VERY pleasant week. Especially if you're fond of screeching and hollering. And children flopping on the floor declaring that nobody likes them.

Nancy Thomas is not a therapist. She employs a therapist by the name of James Dumesnil. I think. And a lady by the name of Judy, who is a retired detective and is the cook and child job enforcer. Our children were a little scared of her at first as she can be rather intimidating, but by the end of the week they loved her!

You can find some information about her and what she does at www.attachment.org.

Nancy and her husband own a 27 acre ranch that they open up to two families a month who are needing help. They have a main house which is where we ate all our meals except breakfast. They milk a goat, have laying hens, have a garden, and live about 50 feet from the Colorado River. It's a beautiful, relaxing location....which is needed. Most definitely.

While there they give the children simple jobs...ours had to wash the cabinets, the stove front, the dishwasher front. Nothing hard at all. They want to teach them to do jobs fast and snappy and right the first time. When the child is finished doing the job, he/she is to strong sit (which I touched on yesterday) for about 30 seconds until the parent can check the job. If done correctly, they are met with great pizzazz. Jumping up and down. Big hug. Kisses. Loud hallelujahs. If the job is not done correctly, they are given the rag and encouraged to do their job very carefully. Then the strong sitting....and on and on until the job is done right.

We were told to sit and observe so we could see how to best deal with the situations that may arise. That was difficult. Having strangers taking care of our children when we were sitting right there?! Wow.

They teach the children how to sit on rugs to play, teaching them boundaries. When on the rug they must be quiet and keep the toys on the rug. Legos, blocks, etc. are some of the toys that are highly recommended for the rug. Anything to keep their minds working. Puzzles are also a huge plus. The rug tactic is employed here now. :) Nope the children don't necessarily enjoy it, but it does give me a break now and then. It's quiet. It's keeping them entertained. It's building brain cells. It's a winner.

They also use lots of crawling and jumping on a mini tramp. So we do, too. :) We're such copycats. Each child jumps on the tramp about 25 minutes each day. Something about that helps to get them to focus. The crawling uses both sides of the body and therefore makes both sides of the brain work together. Thus reducing the survival mode and enlarging the logic mode. And just so you know...mini tramps are $34 at Wal-Mart. You're welcome. :)

Meal time manners were a huge issue with them. Chewing with the mouth open? No problem. Pick up their plate and cup and move them to another spot to finish eating. Elbows on the table? Move them to their own table so they can be as sloppy as they care to. Not eating? See you later!! Enjoy eating by yourself. Not done eating when the rest of the family is? Not a big deal. Chickens need food too. That was hard for me as well. Just sitting there not correcting over and over and over for the same thing at every meal? Who'da thunk that it was as simple as moving them somewhere else to finish up?! And believe me when I say that it does make meal time much less stressful. Or maybe we're the only ones who remind and remind and remind to chew with the mouth closed. I don't like moving them, but they are learning to pay attention...as they don't really like to be moved either.

Trust is another huge item. We started on day two practicing 'trust falls'. The child stood in front of the dad/mom, crossed his/her arms over chest (opposite hand to opposite shoulder), closed his/her eyes, kept legs perfectly straight, and fell backwards into our arms. That takes trust.

The next day we led them blindfolded through an obstacle course....around a several foot tall fire pit (don't worry, there was no fire), down a stone pathway, around a pile of rocks that was a little tipsy, through a path on hands and knees with hula hoops set up to keep them in the path, across a stump path, up onto a table, up a piece of plywood perched on a tall stump, and finally on to a four foot tall stump that they trust fell off of backwards into our arms. Talk about needing to trust.

Trust is a huge item with attachment issues. The child has had so many times that someone failed them that they learn to not trust anyone.

In a normal week there are two families there together...one week a month as I said. One family would have morning therapy sessions while the other would have afternoon therapy sessions.

It didn't work that way for us. The other family that was there had a child who absolutely refused to talk. She had one seven hour therapy session in which she never said one word. They tried again the next day and she said a few things but then shut down and never said another word for several hours. The therapy didn't work for her. She was a very tough case.

If you need another prayer item to put on your list....add Brittany and her parents. She headed from the ranch to a residential care home where she will live for the next few months and hopefully receive what she needs to get on the path to being a strong, healthy child. It was very hard to watch.

Anyway.

Our week consisted of a morning session and then most afternoons we would have another session. Will and Addie both received a lot of therapy, for which we were so thankful. We also received several therapy sessions. Many times dealing with a problem child works to drive a wedge between the parents. I 'll have to admit that had we gone to the ranch several months ago they would've found a large wedge. Will was getting quite good at triangulating Jason and I against each other. Doing something around here during the day...racing to the pickup to tell Jason something different the minute the pick up was parked in the evening. It's crazy how it was working.

We finally got our heads together and figured out what was happening, but I'm a little embarrassed to admit just how long it took us.

Anyway. Therapy lasted 4-5 hours each day. Some days a lot longer.

During our down time we were told to just relax and unwind. My mom went with us and often took the children to the river to play while Jason and I napped. Or talked. Or read. Or did anything to just give our brains a nice break. It was rather stressful and extremely exhausting.

The last day we had a forgiveness session. Each of us went around to the other members of the family and told them what we had done and asked for forgiveness. Some of the things the children said I had long since forgotten, but it was clear that they had not and needed to get it off their chests.

Forgiveness session over we all were given a piece of paper to write down all the stuff that we wanted to leave there. Baggage. Things that we had no desire to bring home with us. Will drew pictures of things that he wanted to forget and leave behind while the rest of us wrote. And wrote. Then we headed into the house to throw our lists into the fire....never to be brought back again. It was quite the experience. One that I think we could employ here in our home. Starting with the forgiveness.

We ate one last meal with them, snapped some group pictures, and headed for the airport.

Miss Judy and her son.

Us with Miss Nancy and Mr. James.

And us with Mr. Brandon, the summer ranch hand.

Mr. Brandon has an incredible story. Incredible. He was diagnosed as severely autistic at the age of two. His mom has scars on her thumb where he tried to bite it off. Doctors recommended that he be placed in an institution as he was out of control. I don't know for sure what happened. His family all came to Christ as a result of his sickness and he was healed. Today he is a fine young man just ready to start college. He's going to school to become a music composer and teacher. He sent us home with one of his cd's...music that he composed and his sister sang along as he played the piano.

Incredible.

So that was that. We caught our flight out of Denver about 7:10, landed at our airport about 12:30AM, and arrived home about 2:00AM. Big day. Tired family.

Getting back to real life was a struggle....especially when mom and dad start employing some new tactics. :) Keeps life interesting.