Cause we were settled and happy right where we were.
Our family was getting more normal every day. We could finally consider stealing away, just Jason and I, for the first time in six years to just be alone for an over-nighter. It sounded so incredibly peaceful and quiet and relaxing and delightful and well, the list could go on for a very long time. You get the point. I was excited just thinking about dropping the munchkins off and returning to pick them up the next day.
I've had my share of childish pity parties over the past five months. Why'd God choose our family to raise children from terribly hard places? Why'd God allow us to cross paths with the 'other family' at just that time? Why'd God answer my prayers for children by giving us five children in just a hair over six years? I mean, why couldn't he space them out just a little bit?
Get what I'm saying? I was feeling sorry for myself because God answered my prayers. Huh. Something is wrong with that picture. It's so typical of us as humans to be that way. We pray, we beg God, we cry, we plead...and when God gives us what we begged for we question His timing and His faithfulness.
Shame on me.
The past five months haven't been a bed of roses, there's been plenty of thorns, but neither have the past five months been all that bad.
Our newest daughter has done remarkably well. She has her moments, of course. She's had her fair share of meltdowns and her times of sadness due to missing her 'other mommy and daddy'. But she fits in our family like God intended for her to be here. Imagine that. Most days I forget that she wasn't born to me.
I have never been so thankful that God placed Will in our family as I have been in the past five months. Will's RADish behavior was completely preparing me for welcoming Gracie into our home. She's not destructive, she's not loud and obnoxious....she quietly goes about issuing orders and demanding that her new siblings follow her rules. :) You can imagine how well that goes over. Similar to a lead balloon. She tests the boundaries in the exact same ways that Will did....and responds with the same meltdown style that he always used. It makes me smile. I don't smile at the fact that her pain is so great, I smile at the fact that I've played this game before. The rules are the same. The strategies are identical. We pray and trust her pain will not lead to the extremes that Will went to.
The rest of our children have finally settled in to life with a new sister. It's not been overly easy. Addie struggled for several months with having to give up her only girl status. As badly as she wanted a sister, I don't think she had in mind a sister who would use all her stuff and talk. She wanted a sister who came as a new baby so the 'getting in the stuff' could be put off for a while. :)
Will. He's still Will. Overly ambitious. Very charming....especially in public. Nearly always happy!!! That statement is one that a couple years ago I wasn't sure I would ever say again. He had at least a year that he literally didn't smile or laugh. It was all raging and destruction. Now?! You wouldn't guess in a million years the struggles he had. I'm not saying that his little brain is completely healed. It's not. We still have hours...years....of work to do for him to really accept the fact that we love him no matter what. I'll just state a very large truth....if it weren't for the insight of some very skilled therapists, I hate to think where we would be in our journey of parenting Will. It's very well known that if a child tries to kill animals, that child is very, very sick and the next step is humans. That was our Will. I was never fearful for myself, but I was very fearful for our unborn baby. Please, please, please. If your child is showing signs of anything that scary....find help immediately. I am all for praying and reading the Bible, but I also firmly believe that God gave certain individuals certain gifts. There are folks out there who can give very practical ways to deal with the hard behaviors. Don't stop praying. Don't stop reading His Word. But don't be too proud to get professional help.
This picture is a PERFECT example of Will's current attitude toward life!! Gung ho!
Anyway. Whew. As some of you may know, Will started attending yet another school this year. In the middle of the year. Three schools in two years isn't so bad, is it? He's now attending Montessori...which he absolutely LOVES!!! He is playing the violin (an orchestra instrument is required) and is thriving on the hands on learning. And the best part?! His love for school is following him home!!! I can now honestly say that he is fun to have around. Most of the time. ;) Seriously. We are so very thankful that our little town has this option AND that it seems to be just the right school for Will!
I'm doing 'school' at home with numbers three and four, but next year they will be hopping on a school bus! They are so incredibly excited. Nearly every day they ask how many days it is until they get to go to school. So. Why are we enrolling in a third school? *headache starts now* Quite simple really. The school Addie attends has all grades in the same room. If any siblings are in the room with her she becomes the mom and as a result will do little to no school work. School becomes a huge headache and stress in her life because she feels 'responsible' for the behaviors of her siblings. We learned that with Will. Sending them to Montessori isn't an option due to funds. That leaves sending them to a third school.
Gracie, Jack, and Ty are like three peas in a pod. They do everything together and I cannot imagine the sadness when Ty realizes he will be home all day every day by himself. :) Jack has accepted Gracie as his favorite sibling since the day she arrived and that hasn't changed a bit. They very rarely leave the other's side. Ty screeches along behind them acting the part of a typical two year old pesky brother.
So there's an update. Life moves on. We deal with the sticky fingers of one child, the nonstop lies of another. We make games out of both. We look at each other and wonder how in the world we ended up with five children ten and under anyway. Just 7 short years ago it was just the two of us and Jason bought me a bright yellow little canary to keep me company...to keep it from being so quiet in our house. HAHAHAHA!!!! Who would have thought that in just seven years time I would delight in feeding my horse just because it means I get five minutes of silence in my day?! :D
I do love my children. More than I ever imagined. In different ways than I ever imagined. Through different struggles and trials than I ever imagined.
This little song. It speaks to my heart. Yes. It's a child song. It's very simple. But it's truth.
"So let the Son shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win.
So let the Son shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
And let the Son shine in!"
No matter the struggles. No matter if my life is not even one iota similar to what I imagined seven years ago. No matter what gets tossed in my lap.
With Jesus shining His love on me, the smiles always win.
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