Birthday Boy

The little fellow turned six today. (Now yesterday. Oops.)

Six.

I have to wonder if his birth mom allowed herself to think about the one child that she dropped off at the maternity hospital never to see again.

I wonder if she sits and daydreams about how her life would be different if she had kept him.

I wonder if she would have kept him in her care had she the chance to have a re-do.

I wonder if she ever wonders what he looks like.

I wonder if she talks about him to her other children.

I wonder if she wishes she were me right now and able to give him a hug and kiss whenever she wanted to.

I wonder if she cries when she thinks about her little boy on the other side of the world.

I wonder so many things and yet will likely never have the opportunity to have all my questions answered.

If she were to read this today, I would tell her how blessed we feel to have the honor of raising her son. I would tell her that though the past year and a half have been extremely difficult, we can see a faint light at the end of the tunnel.

I would tell her that he has a zeal for life that is unmatched in any child that I have ever met....especially when it comes to opening gifts. His joy is tangible. He LOVES to open gifts. Giggles non-stop.

I would make sure she knows that he can be the most loving little boy and also the absolute most stubborn.

I would tell her how totally un-afraid he is of heights. Just last week he was caught climbing the tv tower...and was a good way off the ground. And crawling out the bedroom window to perch on the tiny roof? Not a problem.

I would tell her that he loves school, but he had to learn the hard way that locking your elbow around a child's throat because said child wouldn't throw the ball is NOT acceptable.

I would tell her that he is such a health freak. His favorite meal is hot dogs, mac-n-cheese, chips, cake, and ice cream. And he giggles the whole time while making macaroni. (No. Making macaroni noodles is not a regular activity at our house...but I sure was glad to see that $3.99 Goodwill pasta maker purchase sitting in my cupboard when I discovered the macaroni supply was on 'E'.)

I would tell her that while he enjoys farming with his daddy, his real passion lies in heavy construction. Apparently it looks far more fun to move great piles of dirt than it does to sit in a tractor waiting on a load of corn.

I would tell her that when he isn't trying to get Jack to copy every single thing that he does, he really is a great big brother. He will sit for many long minutes holding Ty....perhaps the only time all day that he actually sits still.

I would tell her what an awesome memory he has...he has no problem at all memorizing passages from the Bible...often up to 10 verses in a week or two.

I would make sure she knows that he loves Jesus and that he often prays for his family in Russia.

And finally I would tell her thank you. Thank you so much for choosing to give birth to this little boy even though I'm sure she knew from the beginning that she wasn't going to keep him. Thank you for signing the document stating that he could be adopted. Thank you for loving him enough to want better for him than what you thought you could offer. Thank you, Anna, for the gift of our son.

And, thank you, Jesus, for orchestrating such a story.