If You Pray for Patience....

....expect to receive circumstances that will require much exercise in patience.

If you pray for strength to meet the day, expect to receive circumstances that require much strength.

If you pray for wisdom in raising your children, expect to receive circumstances that require much more wisdom than you could ever come up with on your own.

In other words. If you pray for something, expect God to answer.

That's the conclusion that I came to at 2:00 this morning while I was waiting on lil' George to stop kicking me so I could sleep again. And really? It's a no-brainer.

Why do we pray for miracles and then act so surprised when it happens?

Why do we pray for patience and then act so surprised when God sees that our circumstances allow us to practice patience?

Why?

I know, we're human.

But should we really be so surprised when God gives us what we ask for?

I'll have to admit that the past week really isn't what I had in mind when I started to pray for patience. Had it been up to me I would have just gained extreme patience in my every day life.

One thing about me...I am far from a patient person. I used to think I was patient...and then I had children. :/

Not to use them for an excuse, but that really is the truth.

I love to have quiet time. Time when I just sit and do absolutely nothing. Not even read. Or eat M&M's. Time when I can lounge in a chair and stare at the ceiling. Not for a whole day or anything...just 20 minutes will do me a world of good. Time when I can shut off my brain. Time when I don't have to talk to anyone. Time that's it's just me and God.

That sounds selfish, I know. But trust me, it doesn't happen very often. As any mother knows, there simply is very little time during the day when it is actually quiet. Someone always needs something.

And that is when I snap. My patience button gets pushed. I bark at the children. I tell them in not so kind ways to be quiet. I escort them to the door to have some play time outside.

Not a pretty picture. But the honest truth.

And so. I started to pray that God would bless me with patience. And is He ever doing that.

This past week with Will has been something that feels as if it were written and we're just acting out the parts. It's been hard. It's been very unpleasant. It's been sad. It's been eye-opening.

I've learned once again just how much I need God in my life. I've learned once again that only He can give a mother the strength, patience, wisdom, gentleness, etc. that is needed on a daily, no secondly, basis.

Honestly? It's been good for me. But that doesn't mean that I've enjoyed it.

In fact, the day that I put up the post requesting prayer (which I have definitely felt...thank you all times a thousand) I had a meltdown. A kind of major one, in fact. I called Jason after discovering something that Will had done, and cried through the whole phone call. I called my mom and asked her to come over...after I sobbed so much that she thought something MAJOR had happened.

In reality? I had reached the end of my rope. I had been trying to do it all. Tough it up, put on a good front when we leave the house, act like nothing is wrong, smile at the appropriate times...actually that kind of resembles a hypocrite, huh?

Anyway. Mom came over as soon as she could. She walked in and sat Will down and let him know that how he was acting was not really acceptable. He was a little sad at knowing that Grandma knew what was going on, but nothing really changed that day.

The next day was super!! He bounded down the steps, raced through his jobs, and was able to play all day. Of course, that could have had something to do with the fact that he was going to spend the day at Grandma's (which he didn't know until after the jobs were done), but he did have a super day. So did I. That day was the ultrasound. Yes, we know what we're having, no, we're not going to tell you. :) It's name until the day it is born is 'George'. Just as it has been from the day we found out it was for real.....

The day after the super day was not so super. He woke up with a little attitude, which escalated rapidly and made for a rotten day. For him. He was in a bad mood all day...which appears to be made worse if Mommy doesn't join in on the bad mood fest. Bummer for him.

If I walked out of the room he was in, he screamed. If I hugged him, he screamed. If I gave him a kiss, he screamed. If I made a phone call, he screamed.

In other words, if he didn't feel like he was in control of what I was doing, he screamed. Oh so pleasant. :)

Thanks to much praying all day, and the prayers of you all which I could most definitely feel, God gave me strength and patience and love.

This morning it has been a little up and down. He started out horrid. Then switched gears and did his first job while singing. Then switched gears again and is taking well over an hour to do his 20 minutes worth of 'school'...which equates doing workbooks, but don't tell him that. :)

We shall see how the rest of the day goes. As I keep telling him....all I can do is be the Mommy that Jesus expects me to be. I can't control his behavior. I can't make him WANT to do what is right. I can't force him to do his school.

BUT I CAN be the Mommy that Jesus wants me to be...and by His grace...that will I do.

Thank you all for your prayers. And for those of you who have contacted me and said that you are dealing with the same thing? I'll be praying for you.