Oops

I can't believe I have neglected this thing for nearly an entire month. That's pathetic.

I offer no excuses...other than the fact that it's been busy around here.

I guess that could qualify as an excuse.

Today I am sitting at the desk, nibbling on M&M's, sewing, trying to clean up the clutter of cut-out yet still-unsown items floating around this little room. The M&M's are my go-juice. I enjoy sewing, but after seeing these few projects sitting here for six weeks, the enthusiasm has long since flown. Thus the M&M's. Plus, I can find most any excuse to polish off a bag of them.

I should be doing bookwork. Really. When I sat down at the computer to catch up on it about a month ago, I realized that I was nearly one year behind. Yep. You read that correctly. Not one week. Not one month. One year. It's been a long process. The checkbook balanced....well, good enough for me anyway. I think it was about $1.36 off, or something close anyway. Not enough to spend days trying to find the year old mistake.

The rest of the stuff is nearly caught up, but I have to admit that there is still a pile perched on the table that must be tended to sometime in the near future. Don't worry, we still have room to eat our daily meals without accidentally stuffing the March credit card statment into our mouths.

I have excuses for the paperwork not being tended to as well. Remember a year ago when we were packing for a four week trip to the grand land of Russia (we actually left one year ago on Friday)? And then remember how court didn't go as planned and we ended up staying in Russia for five weeks? And then remember how our house flooded and we couldn't even live in our house for two weeks after getting home and we then had to unpack boxes and whatnot for several weeks after that? That's my excuse. Til life finally calmed down enough for me to consider sitting at the computer entering receipts, it was already March. And then the weather turned nice and who wanted to sit at the desk? And then summer came and I was busy. And then fall arrived and when I actually had the time, it was too depressing to even consider. So here I am. Yes, it's still depressing and yes, I wish now that I had been a little more diligent, but it's a little late for that! Now I have no choice. After all, a new year is upon us.

On top of the bookwork and the sewing, there have been Christmas gatherings. While those are tons of fun, they also take time. We're gone from home for three whole weekends (Friday night to Sunday night) and it takes me much of Friday to get things in shape to leave. Plus we MUST have snacks...and being the great procrastinator that I am, those typically wait til Friday to be made. So that was three weekends.

And then, there's the real kicker. Remember when a while back I mentioned that we were having some struggles with Will? It all started when we brought Jack home with us. Seriously. While in Russia last winter, he did pretty good, but right before we were leaving, Will asked when we were taking Jack back to the orphanage. Problem. He seriously could not stand that little shaver who moved in and stole his spot on Mommy's lap. The result has been a gradual dislike of Mommy that we finally decided must be turned around. It's been increasingly more clear that the main problem is the fact that he doesn't believe that Mommy can love Jack and him all at the same time. Face it, a two year old does take a little more hands on time than a five year old does. Perhaps I could have allayed some of our problems had I purposed to sit and hold him on a regular basis. Or had I purposed to spend some extra one on one time with him rather than playing with all three of them together. That's neither here nor there. The fact is that about a month ago we realized that we had some serious work to do. Something had to change. Something is just not quite right when a five year old comes down the steps with obvious plans to have a grouchy day. Five year olds are supposed to be carefree and happy! Plus, something is not right when a child wants nothing to do with his mom. Nothing. We called the therapist. We prayed. And we came up with a plan.

For the past few weeks, Will has had very few breaks from his mommy. Very few. And as a result his mommy has had very few breaks from Will. :) It's been good...at least after we made it through the first few days of screaming and hollering (him, not me). I've had to work extra hard at not getting frustrated when he deliberately defies me and he's had to work extra hard at breaking his habits of deliberately defying me. It's been rough. It's been exhausting. I've had to change the way I interact with him. Rather than telling him to go sweep the kitchen, he now gets a choice. Would you like to sweep the kitchen or dust the living room? It's working much better. Perhaps I'm the last mom around to figure out that choices work better than bossing, but I'm thankful to finally figure it out. Then it's his choice. No matter what option he chooses, something is getting done. No matter what option he chooses, he made the final choice...and for a strong willed child, he needs to feel like he made the call. It's not my nature to operate that way. I'd rather give orders and go on my way, but if I cared to win back my child's heart something had to give...

But. We're finally getting somewhere. Starting sometime the end of last wek he started giving me impulsive hugs and saying...."I like to be with you, Mommy." He's started asking to sit on my lap again. He's started being happy a little more. He's started sleeping a little better at night...which in turn makes him a tad happier.

The only problem with all this is that we have two other children. Not that the two other children are a problem :), but the youngest one especially hasn't been too fond of his mommy giving his older brother so much attention. He really doesn't like it when Will is on my lap, but really doesn't like sitting on my lap himself...unless it's his idea. While he's been sleeping better at night (only waking and screaming a time or two each night) he's only taking about 45 minute naps (at the most) during the day. It's kind of like he simply doesn't want to miss out on a speck of mommy time that he can possibly snag. However, if you've ever had a two year old who doesn't take decent naps around your home, you know that it doesn't work out too well. By 6:00 every evening he's out of control hyper and really wants nothing to do with anything.

So that's been keeping me busy.

Sewing, eating M&M's, sitting much of the day and holding a child...or two..., doing bookwork, fixing breakfast, lunch, and supper, cleaning up the house, chasing a two year old, etc. That is my life. I have to admit that it was lovely to send Addie back to school this morning. While it's fun to have her home, having one more person around every day all day does add some extra dimensions.

While some days I think it seems like it would be really nice to hop in my car...er...van :)...and head off to an 8-5 job, in reality I know that I would dislike that immensely. Being a mom isn't always fun, being a homemaker isn't always fun....but it's what God has called me to do. And knowing that is what keeps me from playing hooky on mornings when I simply don't feel like I can face another day.