Life Goes On

Oh my. It's been ages since I've sat at the computer with the goal of typing a blog post. I've sat at the computer all right.

I've researched various pregnancy topics.

I've checked out various sheep/lamb issues.

I've read a few (very few) blogs.

I've googled different things to the point that I think I should be part owner of google.

And I've read and read and read on attachment issues.

Honestly? That last one is the one that has been taking the most time. I'm weary. I wonder if this is all worth it. I feel like giving up.

But then I think of the precious soul of our child. And I think of the havoc that could happen if we just give up. And I cry. And I pray. And I call therapists to find out how quickly we can get in to see them. We'll drive anywhere at this point. If we found out that an attachment therapist in Alaska had an opening on Friday, we'd pack our bags and hit the road yet tonight. Maybe we'd even skip packing the bags in order to get there sooner. Surely there'd be Wal-Mart's along the way that we could purchase necessary items.

Yes. It is getting that serious. I'm not sure if he is the one that is getting worse, or if I am reaching my breaking point. I honestly wonder if I'm the one who needs the therapy.

All I know is that something has to happen. And soon.

My biggest concern right now is for our other two children. Okay, make that three. :) Addie and Jack are both a little scared of Will, and it's creating a family environment that simply is not fun. My stress levels certainly cannot be good for the little shaver growing in my tummy.

It's time to get some serious help. I wish I could spill it all right here and right now, but I don't know that he needs everybody and their brother knowing all the nitty gritty details. Just know that any and all prayers will be much appreciated.

We truly thought that things were improving. Truly. For several days the lying was gone, the happy face was on, the grouching and tantrums were nearly disposed of, the other two children were back to their normal carefree selves.....

And then he started back in more than ever. Around other folks he puts on a happy face and acts (for the most part) like any other five year old boy. I think that's what makes it the hardest. When folks say...."What are you talking about? He's just acting like any other five year old boy." Please come live with us for a few days if that is what you believe.

Please, please, please. If you know of someone who is dealing with a child that they claim is a major handful....don't judge them. I'll about guarantee that they are doing the very best they can. It may not appear that way looking on. It may appear that they are too strict, too lenient, too protective. Go for a short walk in their shoes.

I'm not saying that to gain any sympathy. God has placed us on this path for a reason....I just don't have a clue what it is. We don't like it, but we're trying to trust that He will not let us down. That He will carry us through this. That He will allow us to find Will the help that is needed.

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In other news. The pregnancy is going great. I'm large as an elephant. Hot. Tired. And seriously enjoying being pregnant. I love to feel the little shaver kicking around. I love it when he/she has the hic-ups. I love knowing that I'm gaining 30 pounds for a reason. :) Seriously. I cannot complain. While it's not been a bed of roses, I feel like it's been such a privilege to carry a child.

I think I'd rather do paperwork than go through labor and delivery, but I doubt that just filling out forty documents and having them notarized, certified, and apostilled is going to get this child here. :)

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All our sheep have now lambed. There's somewhere around 55 lambs bouncing in our pasture, I think, with one little rejected one cruising around our yard. :) Her name is Missy, and I think she truly believes that she is a dog. The dogs chase a car, barking, Missy bounces along behind, bleating. The dogs drink out of the bucket, Missy does her best to copy. She's cute.

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Gena, our female Great Pyrenees dog, had nine pups over the weekend. Nine. Any takers for them? They'll be ready to go in just eight short weeks!!!

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Other than that? Not much is happening around here. Due to the child situation, I've become a hermit. Plans have been cancelled. We did go camping with a group of friends over the weekend, and are paying the price today. :) Tomorrow morning we have a phone appointment with a therapist and are hoping that sometime in the next couple weeks we can get a sit down session or ten with an attachment therapist.

I'd add some pictures, but have run out of time. Supper should be on the table in two minutes...and I have barely started it!!

"Talk" to you later!!